~3.37am~

I hope days come easy and moments pass slow and each road leads you where you want to go.

If you faced with choice and you have to choose, i hope you choose the one that means the most to you and if one door opens to another door closed, i hoped you keep on walking till you find the window.

If its cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile.

More than anything, My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it. To your dreams stay big and your worries stay small.

You never need to carry more than you can hold. While you're out there getting where you're getting to, i hope you know somebody that loves you and wants the same things too.

I hope you never look back but you never forget all the ones who love you. In the place you left, i hope you always forgive and you never regret and you help somebody every chance you get. Oh you find God's grace in every mistake and you always give more then what you take.

Yeah, this is, my wish for you dear.

i love you, always & always (':

Labels: Love, wishes

~4.30am~

Currently at the beach with few of P.C.A members. Been ages since we all gather like this. Man i miss our panat way of joking but i guess those kind of jokes are no more ey? Everyone changed. Yes, i've got to admit it myself. I've changed too (:

I used trust others. Tend to smile when other mock me. Not that hot temper. Aaah im not that person anymore, ney? when so many things happend to you, believe me you'll be just like Dark Vader except that you dont have the saber & all. Hee.
Me & my imagination *hits myself*

Sometimes i wondered to myself, why does i have to fall for such a trap? I had already been there many times before but still i fell. Maybe i'm not quite mature enough, that is why i fell for such a lousy trap, Yes? No? Hahaha.

Annoying, am i? Thats the only thing that hasn't change despite all the things that i've got to carry on my shoulder. An annoying little 19 years old immature person. 19 years old yet im act like those of 16 years old brat. Oh well, i'm just proud being me. Apperciate it much. God's gift (:

Ayt. I'll stop here people. Its extremly late already. Got to go home though everyone's not fucking worried about this brat anymore but wth i've still got to home. I just need my pilo T_T

I envy those Happy people out there (':

Labels: Random

This shout out goes to me & Zakiyah Era Elleys, Teman Sepanatan.

HAPPY 3 YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP (':

22nd of January 06. The start of our journey. Its been a panat ride. You being the vice as well as my closes frnd during the 2 years fairytale (': ah memories of better days still lurking.. Sigh..

Why im not adding one more year, so that it will equal to 3 years, you asked? Hee, it's because during 22nd january year 07 the journey just ended there. We didnt talk much anymore. We did talk but not as mesra as it used to be (': why again, you asked? Its for me & the rest of P.C.A to keep only (':

I wonder if you still remember this faithful day of ours, Zakiyah? Hee. Maybe i'm the only who cried when it comes to 22nd each month ey? Not to mention another ending added to this particular month as well (':

Aaah, i'm crying as i'm typing this, yet.. again (': so much for 22nd, yes?

~ZakiyahEraElleys~ ~EllaNabila~
Two person who promised me, happines. Yet, they broke it. Two person who carved their name on my walls. Yet, they erased it. Two person who built briged for me to cross. Yet, they destroyed it.. Sigh..

I'm still gratefull though to this one person who never fail to make smile. Yes dear, you. Tweey (': i love you but nevertheless its still doesn't change the fact that on 22nd of each month, it is when my Fairytale gone bad.

('x

Labels: Annie, Love, Past

I who have nothing
Adore you and want you so. I'm just no one with nothing to give you but oh i love you.

You, you who give him your sparkling bright love like those of diamonds but believe me, Autumn, when i say that he can give you the world. Sometimes that your the one who give him the world. But he'll never love you the way that i love you.

He can take you any place you want. To fancy shops & resturants but i can only watch you with my nose pressed up againts the window pane.

I who have nothing, I who have no one.

Must watch you go dancing by wrapped in the arms of somebody else.

When darling it is i who love you.

Dramatic,am i? Haha. Alright. Im out. I wanna eat something. Gaah im hungyyy *poke tweey*

Labels: Love, tweeey

This WinterAutumn's hearts should be our secret,
but now im hiding in this heart alone.
Cant help but read our names on the wall and wash them on the stone.

I trusted you in every way but not enough to make you stay.
Just turn around Autumn, because i've lost my ground.

Come & rescue me.
I'm burning, can you see? x')
Only you can set me free.

We lied when we were dreaming.
Our crying was just fake.
Hope you can deny it.
Here & today.

My S.O.S radio is the only chance to let you know what i fear.
Can you hear?

The walls are coming closer.
My sense are are fading away.
I'm hunted by your shadow.
I wanted to reach & feel your face but your not here.

Are you here?.. sigh..

Don't mind me readers. I'm in that depression mode again x') Hee. Ayt im out. Its 3 in the morning already. Sweet dream ppl. Goodnight xD oh &

i love you, always, Bumble Bee x') Happy 3 months annie.

Labels: Love

I woke up in a dream today.
To cold and the static.
And i put my cold feet on the floor.
Forgot all about the ending.
Remembering that i'm pretending to be where im not anymore.
A little taste of hipocrisy and i'm left in the wake of mistake.
Slow to react
Even tho your so close to me but still your so distant.
And i cant bring you back.

Its true
The way i feel
Was promised by your face.
The sound of your voice.
Painted on my memories.
Even if your not with me.

Im with you

I hit you & you hit me back.
We fall to the floor.
The rest of the day stand still.
Fine line between this & that.
But when things went wrong.
I pretend the past isn't real.
Im trapped in this memory.

NO, i wont let you control my fate,
While im holding the world on my conscience.
NO, i wont just sit here & wait,
While you wear your options.
Your making a fool out of me.
NO, you didnt dare to say that you dont care.
And solemnly swear doesnt follow me there.
NO, it aint lke me to beg on my knees.

Oh, please, baby, please, thats not how im doing things.
NO, i'm not upset.
NO, i'm not angry.
I know love is love,
but Love, sometimes, it pains me.
With or without you.
I always be with you.
You'll never forget me.
Because
i'm keeping you here with me.
NO, i won't let you take me to the end of the rope,
While you burn & torture my soul.
NO, i'm not you puppet.
And no, no, no, i wont let you go.

No, matter how far we have come.
I cant wait to see tomorrow with you.

i love you, always jubur *hugs*

Labels: Love, Random

My inside all turned to ash, so slow.
And blew away as i collapsed, so cold.
A black wind took them away from sigh.
And the darkness over day, that night.

And the clouds above move closer.
Looking so dissatisfied but the heartless wind keep on blowing.
I used to be my own protection, but not now.
Cause my path has lost direction.
Somehow, a black wind took you away from sight
And now the darkness over day, that night.

So now you're gone and i was wrong.
I never knew what it's like to be alone

My mind has lost direction somehow, on WinterAutumn's ending

i love you, always

Labels: Love

Your telling me to go
but your hands beg me to stay

Your lips say that you love
Your eyes say that you hate

This truth in you lies
Doubt in your faith
What you've built laid into waste

All i've got is only what u didnt take

so i, i will nt be the one
Be the one that leave in pieces

And you
You will be alone
Alone with your secrets
And regrets

Dont lie

You promised me the sky
Then tossed me like a stone

You wrap me in your arms
And chill me to the bone

Another random things that i wrote. Tehehe. Im bored wah. Tweew Tweew. What the heck is wrong with my Msn? Its not connecting T_T

Labels: Random

Before i get started, i wanna say 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ABG KHALID,KAKA NANI & SHARIF DULS. wohoo. May good bless you all & di murah kan rezeki. Amin x)

Ehem.. Ehem..
Today we wasn't able to do any ghost hunting activity because all of us been busy with all of our own work. Well not all of us,only few including me whose hands are free. I know we could just leave them n do the ghost hunt with just us but its just nt fair, they are doing their work while we steal all the fun frm them,see? No fair,yes?

So yeah, there's nothing much going on today. Watched the kingdom in the afternoon. Its a good well splendid movie. I'll review them at my other post later on. Didnt play ball today,everyone seems to be busy nowadays. Hmph. Went to cousin's house at Lambak to celebarate Kaka Nani,Abg Khalid & Sharif birthday at 7.00pm.

Went home at 11 & here i am,blogging randomly on my comfortable bed *yawn* I wanna make my blog so intresting for ppl to read but it always doesnt go on my way T_T

goodnight readers. Kapish. Tweety *drolls*

Labels: Random

Lets review today's events ;
(Note that,im only gonna review what is intersting for me. Do not expect me to write on whats going on each & every hours)

~Early morning~ Woke up at 6 today. I was awaken by the noise of my msn. Nurul pm me. She wanted me to come by over to her house because she needed me to accompany her while her parents are away. She's afraid of being left all alone. Haha. Appearently, my eyes were still half closed & i wanted to sleep some more. So yeah, i declined her offer. Sorry, Nurul, maybe next time & i argued with Autumn at that point of time as well. Hee.

~At 3pm~ Decided to bring Nurul to the Motor Sarwa Dunia at the Beribi to survey a car. There,me & Nurul went to look for my upcoming new car xD I was looking for a Black Gen. 2. Sadly,they only had blue,red,grey & purple gen 2 cars. The black ones will arrived in two or three days time. Hmph. I asked them to give me a call when the black one arrived. After that,we went on to eat at the near resturant there. Man, we were hungry like hell. Our tummy keeps on growling ): & Nurul, i thought only man eat like a beast. HAHAHA. Weirdo xp

~At 4pm~ Sent Nurul to Mentiri. She had a traditional dance practice at her friend's house,Nisha. She's a real cutey. Nt to mention beauty baby *drools* Nyahaha xp Went home at 4.30 & got scolded by dad for not telling him that i went out to Beribi T_T

~At 10 plus pm~ Had an arguement with Elle.. Again. I dont why but lately she's been shooting the machine gun at me. Huhu. I had done nothing wrong *sulks* jubo. Ehe. i love you

Well thats about it. Not much to read,yes? I'll blog about our ghost hunt activity next. That is, if we are all able tomorrow tho. If not, oh well, i'll blog about something else then (x

Goodnight people. Kapishh

Labels: Autumn, Cars, Winter

7.00pm

This people start to piss me off. Fuck You. Heh. Why do you guys have to come into my life anyway?

11.30am:
Currently in a car with both Aim & Qawiy *yawn* im tired. I need my pilo nyahaha.

Labels: Random

Goodmorning readers *yawn* today is the 13th. 9 more days till the New Heroes season 2 will be shown on TV! Yay! && it will mark the 1st month of the WinterAutumn's end x)

Speaking of which.. HAPPY 1 YEAR & A MONTH BESTFRIEND ANNIE TO BOTH JIM C LALAT & ME! wohoo! Still cant believe it. A year n a month already since the Yanee's era. I still remember that Jim used to likey likey me. She got jealous when she knew that im with Yanee. Haha. Weirdo xp

I'll stop here. Both Aim n Qawiy are waiting. Haha. Im late already. Nyahaha. Sorry Aim. Apa apa cana cana? Ngee. Haha.

p/s ; when will TWEEY come to me? T_T

Labels: Past, tweew

Sometimes i get so weird. I even freak myself out. I laugh,i cried myself to sleep as if it's my lulaby. Sometimes i drive so fast just to release the frustration. I wanted to scream because it made me feel alive.

Is it enough to love? Is it enough to breath? Is it enough to die? Somebody rip my heart out & leave me to bleed. Somebody save my life i'd rather be anything but ordinary please (x

To walk within the lines would make my life so boring. I want to know that i had been to the extreme. So knock me off my feet. Come on now,give it to me anything to make me feel alive

Okay that was random. Haha. I wrote it with my heart as a guide. Consinder random,yes? Tehehe. Tell me what you think. Espcially you, yes you *ambl tweew*

i love you jubur xp

Labels: Randon, tweew

This is the txt msg that she had gave it to me during our 3 months annie..

It says..

3 Months and I Never Realised I've Stayed This Long. Syg, Lets Stay Together Always. I Dont Want To Be Apart From You, I Dont Want To Be Pulled Away From Your Life. Everything I Do, I Give My Heart and Soul. And I Know We Can Last Longer. Keep Me Baby (': Because Im Tired Of Crying. I Love You. Happy 3 Months Annie Syg. Mwa. *hugs* Sleeptight Pantat xD hehe.

During those 3 short months are always been so joyful for us both. Idk about her though but during those months i felt like im alive. She always made me smile with all her spoilt darling adorable attitude towards me (':

sigh.. can i have you back,cyg? (':

I wish i could just turn back time & undo everything that i had done wrong.. sigh..

Yes,call me emo. Call me jiwang. Call me your heart desire.. Dont mind me.. This is how depress i can get (':

i love you, always (':

Labels: Love, memories, tears

I wake up in the morning..
Tears raining down my faces..
the one that's gonna get me through another day..
Doesnt really matter how i feel inside..
This life is like a game sometimes,oh yes they do (x

Then you came around me the walls just dissapeared..
Nothing to sorround me..
Keeping me from my fears..

I'm unprotected..
See how i've opened up to you? You've made me trust you.

I've never felt like this before..
Its like im naked around you.
Does it show?
You see right through me & i cant hide.

I'm naked around you & it feels so right

Trying to remember why i was afraid..
To be myself..
And let the cover fall away..
Guess i never had someone like you to help me fit in my skin

I'm still not over you & you do know that,yes? (':

i love you, always

Labels: Love

Oh Autumn.

Now you're sleeping. Oh how i wish i can be there,right beside you. Watching you dream ur fantasy. Oh how i wish i can kiss that lips of urs but no,i cant do that because your nt mine to touch. your not mine to hold. your not mine to kiss that beautiful lips anymore. Oh how i wish you would be mine again but yet again i cant, you are with someone else. Someone that your happy with. Someone that has the approval of everyone in the families. Oh how i envy him (':

Its hard for me to let go of you. Its hard for me to get over you. All i can do is just to hold on & enjoy the journey. No need for me to hurry cause this heart will know when its finally.. Home (':

i love you, always.
p/s ; i need tweew ASAP xp

Labels: Autumn.tweew, Love

Im darn bored & i cant sleep. Yup,the usual. Idk why i cant sleep during this time of hours. Hmm.. i wonder.. Its 1am btw. Anyway, earlier, around 6 pm, i went to the beach & do a lot of thinking there.

I saw groups of young couples around my age doing their stuff. No,no not that stuff. They were just hugging,kissing etc. That stuff. You know,the usual. So yeah, there this one couple that cought my eyes. The couples that were sitting on top of car's roof (x They were so sweet. Things that they did, Where the bf atil the gf n the gf always hitting the bf whenever she felt annoyed. I was smiling watching those two,it brings bck the memories (:

Watching them made my tears pouring down. Watching them made me realised how much i miss the WinterAutumn's moments. Oh how much i envy you couples ('x

Aaah bck to earth,after flashing bck all the moments i had with the Autumn. I decided to stop weaping n move along with life. Soon after that i went straight bck to home.

Arrived at home around 7 plus. Txted with Elle ('x ooh you better give tweey to me *drolls* ehe. Had my dinner at 8. Went to bed at 11 & here i am blogging on today's so called event *yawn* It looks like mars is calling. So people!! im heading out to mars. Goodnight readers.

Oh & here's something for my Autumn..

Just questions seem endless. It suddenly become clear. You come not to love me but to teach me how to love. Then you walked away without any idea how much i've learned,how much i missed our moments n how much it hurts.. i love you so much (':

Labels: Envy, Love, memories, Random, Tweey

7.33pm.

i believe in you and you have to believe in yourself. i'll always be here for you along the way, thats a promise i want to keep. okay? (:

i believe too that you can make all of us proud. because, i'm already proud of you. you never stop trying. hee. ooh p/s - TWEEW!!! :D hehe. nanti bagi.

Labels: Random, Tweety

Its 3 in the morning. I just finished watching the whole Heroes season 1 episode. Damn it took me hours to finish them. I wonder if Peter's mother have the ability to read the future.. Hmm..

Anyway bck to the present, as i said earlier it took me hours for me to finish watching them. I couldnt sleep soon after that & now here i am laying on my bed,thinking about what's life ahead of me in the near future. Will i get enough 'O's for me to attend the form six center? Will i make my families proud? Wat if.. Wat if.. I couldnt get enough 'O's? Wat would i do? Wat will others think of me? Espcially to those who are close to me? Wat will become of me? .. Sigh.. I know, education isnt everything,there's way for us to gain a better life without it. You can just join the army, join the police,do business n stuff,yes? BUT nowadays, ppl here, doesnt judges us by our jobs. They look through our education. The better our education is,the better way how their eyes look through us.

You see,thats wat im afraid of. When that happend ppl would just look at me and say 'look at you,you are stupid,pathetic. Your sister are way more better than you' sigh.. Will someone be there for me when it happends? (': who knows..

Ayt,i'll stop here. Its nearly 4. I must make my self fall asleep or else i couldnt hear the end of it. Espcially from c Ella xp nyehehe.

Goodnight people or should i say goodmorning? Hmm.. Oh wat the heck. Sweet dreams. Kapissh *culik tweey* ehe.

Labels: Future, Random, Tweey

& its the year 2008. Wow. Time does move fast. 2007.. Gaha i say this year was the worst of the year that i've been into. I mean seriously,for a moment there i thought i would be enjoying the year 07 despite me being a repeater in my school & received a humiliating treat from both teachers & families (: but it all came to an end when things got a lil bit crack then finally it broke. I dont want to mention it here, what its exactly means but hey you know it once u finished reading my previous post entry,yes? (x

So yeah,thats the time when i came not knowing wat is right or wrong anymore but i do learned something in the year 07 though.

This is what i learned ;

When you find someone you love,it doesnt matter whether you find is a friend or someone you share your life with. Just make sure you treasure them,take good care of them,be true to them,make good use of the love that they had given to you,because that love comes unseen..

You can only see it.. When its gone x')

Happy new year to you all & have a blast. Thank you.

Labels: lesson, Love, New year