Insane Winter

Why there's so much suffering eventhough Allah is exist.

2009-07-06T21:48:00.005+08:00

A Man went to a barbershop to get his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of Allah.

The barber said ''I don't believe that Allah exist''

''Why you say that'' asked the customer.

''Well you just have to go out there to the street to realize that Allah doesn't exist. Tell me if Allah exist, Would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned? If Allah existed , there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving Allah who would allow all of this things that are going around in this world of ours''

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start a argument. The barber finished his job and like any other customer, he paid and leave the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, He saw a man in the street with long , stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard, the man was dirty and unkempt.

The customer turned backed and entered the barbershop again. He said to the barber

''You know what? I don't believe barber is exist at all''

''HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?!'' asked the surprised barber.

'I AM HERE, AND I AM A BARBER. AND I JUST WORKED ON YOU!' said the angry barber.

'NO!' the customer exclaimed.

' Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and an untrimmed beards , like that man outside''

' AH, BUT BARBERS DO EXIST! THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN PEOPLE DO NOT COME TO ME!'

'EXACTLY!' affirmed the customer.

''That's the point, ALLAH, too, does exist. That's what happens when people do not go to Allah and do not look for Allah's help. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in this world''

2009-05-22T01:55:00.011+08:00

A good close friend of mine once said..

''You should blogging if you wanted to let things out, it'll do you good''

So here i am blogging yet again. Lot's of things had happened for this past few months & it's not a pleasant one, i tell you. Have you ever lost something very precious to you? Not just one but lots of them. Has this ever occur to you? If you haven't i envy you, pretty much but If you have, don't worry your not the only one. I know exactly how you feel. It's like a sharp knife being stab into your heart. It hurts like hell.

What is it that have been taken away from me? I'm not talking about a relationship between two so called lovers. That's plain bullshit, not even close. I'm talking about families, friends..

Outside they see this cheerful guy who like to tease others, there's not much to think about type of a person. A ''Happy Go Lucky'' type of person, to be exact. Heh. God knows how i really feel inside. There is much to think about. So i'm not really that kind of person who doesn't really care about anything at all, immature, you might say but that's just them, yes? They can call me whatever they want.

Wow. I think i got carried away for a little while back there. aha. You see, i recently just lost two most precious peoples in my life. My siblings & a precious friend. I wish, i wish i can tell them how badly i miss them. How badly i cherish them in my life but.. i just couldn't find the right words to say. Even if i do, they wouldn't care, yes? They might say...

''People's change''

or

''Let it be. You''ll get it over soon''

or

''I don't wanna talk about this''

or

worst

''Your not my family''

*sigh* All i want is for them to at least come to me & talk to me like the old days. Strengthing the bond between us. Make it even stronger. That's just what i really want from all of you =) I guess it just pointless to say even further, as if you care, yes?

''Someday you may forget who i am. What i am to you. But i want you to remember this, I will always cherish the memories the we share together during our lifetime for the memories will always be lock here.. in this heart of mine''

2009-02-07T21:24:00.007+08:00

Now i realise how much i envy those people who achieve something that they work so hard for. People jumping up & down getting good grades. Earn so much money which eventually manage to solve their problems. People who already found their happiness. wow. I wonder how it feels to achieve something *sigh*

Seeing them somehow makes me happy but at the same time hating them... in a way. aha. What the heck am i talking about anyway? I'm not making any sense at all. HAHA. Idiotic am i? but yeah that's how i ACTUALLY feel towards you people *point*

I know you're thinking ''That's what you get for not really paying attention on your study'' well, you're WRONG! HAH! I did pay attention. I did all my work but it just that it didn't go my way. Get it? x) I thought this so called curse of mine is finally lifted when i found my through but guess what? YES! YOU'RE RIGHT! IT IS STILL IN ME! for that you have won a great dose of greeeen pills! Yay!

I'm still searching for an answer & if i manage to find one, i doubt it will go my way.. wheee. Tehehehe.

2009-01-16T04:21:00.000+08:00

Autumn22EllaNabila

2009-01-14T20:17:00.005+08:00

My peaceful, quiet dreams are coming to an end.

On that day, there was only one voice to be heard.

Soon, the moon will hide behind the clouds.

Even the sky grows dark, if i could feel your warmth,
I wont hesitate anymore.

In the sky i can't reach.
By thinking someone, the impure become innocent.

Thinking of someone important to me is what guides me now.

To find the answer i've searched for,
i'll take on any pain.

I'm going to cut through this endless dreams with the pain that i've endure.

Wake me up please? someone? =)

2009-01-13T00:24:00.002+08:00

It's the year 2009. A new year but yet again still with this fuck up life. Nothing change *sigh* Things just didn't go my way. Everything that i've did ended up in failure. I wanted to help both my parents with their financial needs but still i fucked it up, things just get more complicated when it already did. I wanted to go back to school but noooooo i ruined everything up. Heh. Sometimes we just have to let go of what we want the most just to get things better ey?

I just wish... things go back to normal. God, please i beg you please.. just grant this one wish of mine =')

This is just me

2008-12-29T16:52:00.001+08:00

I finally found myself
I tried to erase all this hate from my body
I tried to end all the lies, all the pain that I caused everyone
But it all seemed so fucking useless

I can’t forgive
And I can’t forget
Don’t you know who the fuck I am
I’m the enemy

I’ve lived a life of regret
I’ve had this burden of guilt suffocating
It’s time to shed this disguise
And it’s time to rise and destroy
Everyone in my fucking path

I can’t forgive
And I can’t forget
Don’t you know who the fuck I am
I’m the enemy

Take a good look at me
I’m your enemy

Don’t try to make amends
There’s just no need to pretend it will all be ok
You can try to run and you can try to hide
But it’s all fucking pointless

I can’t forgive
And I can’t forget
Don’t you know who the fuck I am
I’m the enemy

Kindness isn't always the answer

2008-12-18T10:24:00.004+08:00

Here's a very short random topic. Leave a message after you read them.

Kindness is always the best way to help others but sometimes there's no other choice but to do bad deeds in order to bring out the goods that are dwelling inside of them. We might get hurt doing so but that just show how we care for them. For them to change. For them to improve their lives. I know im not in the position to do so. Sometimes you ought to break the rules, yes?

As the they say..

Measure the size of your palm before you do any good deeds to others

2008-12-07T01:54:00.003+08:00

Welcome back home Buddy. Its been 6 months since you're away from the society. Haha you missed a lot i mean lot of things that are going on here but then your fortunate one, i say. Sorry we didn't give you the welcome party that you should deserved but hey we are glad to have you back here. Enjoy your stay. Happy return cousin.

Before i go i wanna leave a shout to another decemberian who is having her birthday today on the 7th of December.

HAPPY 19th BIRTDAY FIZAH HIPPO, YOUR NOW 19th WOMEN. GOD BLESS IN EVERYTHING YOU DO. HAVE A BLAST BIRTHDAY PARTY. WOHOO!! KAPISSH

Short info about Ruqyah

2008-12-06T08:47:00.004+08:00

update update update!! haha this is what i get from my humble readers. Sorry for not updating for like 3 months? As usual im busy with stuff but this time its just getting heavier? heh life. Anyway lets get down to business.

3 months ago i discussed about beings call Jin. As i recalled there's a variety of symptoms if there's such beings lurking in our body but that does not mean they are really inside of you. Sometimes it's just a normal illness where medical support can be of assistance. To make sure if them, the Jins, are lurking inside, i recommend you to listen to Ruqyah Syarriyah. It is fine to go to other spiritual specialist but we never know what kind of mantra they'll be using. They might go against the teachings or they might not. So to make things easier, you can just listen/read to Ruqyah but under one condition, you must be fully "khusyuk"/concentrate or it won't work. well it depends on the Jin's willingness.

Ruqyah Syarriyah consists of 20 doa or mantra from the Holy Al-Quran. These 20 doa are as follows :

1. Al fatihah
2.Al-Baqarah 1-5
3.Al-Baqarah 102
4.Al-Baqarah 163-164
5.Al-Baqarah 255
6.Al-Baqarah 285-286
7.Al-Imran 18-19
8.Al-A'raf 54-56
9.Al-A'raf 117-122
10.Yunus 81-82
11.Tho-Ha 69
12.Al-Mukminun 115-118
13.Ash-Shaaffaat 1-10
14.Al-Ahqaaf 29-32
15.Ar-Rahman 33-36
16.Al-hasyr 21-24
17.Jin 1-9
18.Al-Ikhlas
19.Al-Falaq
20.An-Naas

These are all the doa that you guys should listen to but a quick reminder here. Don't try to ever listen to it when there's no specialist around because if you got positive reactions from it, who knows what you will do. It can be life-treat threatening. So don't ever try to attempt it by yourself. Unless you have the will to do so, all & all, it's at your own risk.

I'll stop here. Sorry not much of details there. Can't think much. haha. Yosh. Kapisssh.

Jins

2008-09-24T08:14:00.007+08:00

I'm starting to want to learn more deeper about the ''WORLD'S SECRET.'' Many of you readers may have already known the existence of beings called ''JIN'' or in terms of culture, we called it ''HANTU''. Ok, i'm gonna recap back of what you guys have been taught or told before, i know it can be boring or outdated for a young person who lives in this modern world of ours to read/listen about this kind of stuff but hey, who knows this might safe you in the near future? Sharing one's knowledge can be a key to your success, yes?

JIN is created through the element of fire. That's why people often feel their surrounding is hot or sometimes can be chilly whenever they're around. This being can be quite aggressive, suits with what ''ALLAH'' created them with, FIRE. People often mistaken that all of them are evil beings. Sorry to say this but NOT all of them are evil as you might think. They have their own faith to believe in as well. Some even worship one God that is ''ALLAH'', in short, they're just like us ''HUMANS''.

JIN is well known for possessing Humans beings. I know some of you may have never seen a person being possess. In fact maybe some don't even believe one bit at all! those none believers believe that there's something wrong with their brain which causes them to act way beyond his/her normal behavior. With science & everything they think they can explain every single bit of details that are happening in the world. WRONG, Now can someone explain this to me.. This is a common one though, when a person is being possess, their voice tend to change according to the Jin's gender. If a male Jin possesses a female human or the other way round, Her voice will surely change more to a husky manly tone, correct? If you could explain that to me in science then what about this one. A mere human jumps from wall to wall like there's nothing to it, when he was possessed by JIN or better worst, his/her appearances are starting to change to more like a Demon kind of form. No, I'm not making any of this up. I've seen it with my own two eyes, it happens within my family & friends. So now can someone explain it to me according to science, please?

Some of them like to possess humans because Jin also have feelings like humans do, yes? i mean to say that they also can fall in love with us, Human beings. Got what i mean right? secondly, its because they cannot stand human behavior when humans tend to be not careful with what they are doing. Thirdly, Jin wants to disrupt us just to make us go against our own faith & last but not least they're given orders by witches or those who practices Black magic to disturb others.

According to specialist's experiences, there is a variety of symptoms if Jins is lurking inside of humans body.

(NOTE THIS)

When awake symptoms :

1. Always experiencing frequent headaches or neck pains, shoulder pains, chest pains, stomach aches, leg pains even though after taking meds and painkillers.

2.Lazy when it comes to doing work especially religious ritual like praying & stuff.

3.Laughing or crying his/her heads off without any reason at all.

4. Can get angry easily, emotional & like to make a big deal out of their problems.

5. One always likes to copy animals' behavior or tend to copy animals' voices without even realizing it.

6. Not really confident in taking wudhu' & when doing their prayers.

7. One can see or feel Jin's presence.

8. having the shivers, cold and hot feelings inside your body, increasing heart rate and suffocating when reciting the al-Quran.

9. Wife hates her husband or the opposite or both hating each other without any specific reason.

10. always having miscarriages, inconstant period or unable to give birth even though both husband and wife are normal.

When asleep symptoms :

1. Hard to fall asleep but always feel sleepy or over sleeping.

2.felt being crushed by something heavy & having bad dreams or illusions

3.Always grinding when asleep till it make noises.

4.Laughing, crying or asking for help when he/she asleep.

5.Walking or just standing unconsciously.

6.Having a dream of meeting someone who confess that he's a soul of someone already dead.

Those are the symptoms that you readers should really be aware of. If any of this match any kind of symptoms you readers may already have. You readers should listen to RUQYAH SYA'IYYAH

What is Ruqyah Sya'iyyah? Guess you guys have to find out on my next entry. Sungkai is just around the corner. ehe. Happy eating readers xD

Yosh! Now i know who i really am xD

2008-09-07T17:12:00.003+08:00

You are an Opportunist Seme!

Preying on the clueless is what you're all about. You really don't intend to hurt anyone, but if a bit of harmless manipulation can get you what you want, you're not beyond taking a little advantage of someone, which you figure is an even exchange for your companionship anyway. Not one for lots of drama, you are best paired with the Clueless Uke, who will appreciate your attention and never bat an eye at your slightly sneaky ways.

Most compatible with: Clueless Uke, Innocent Uke

Least compatible with: Badass Uke

What seme or uke are you? Take the experience at SemeUke.com, or find merchandise here.

=> Deeee. Can you define Uke & Seme, please? hehe

2 options. Option A or Option B

2008-09-04T12:03:00.004+08:00

When one must think a better way to achieve your goal that have been stomp by your on doings, how should it be?

is it,

Just give up & stare up the ceilings for the rest of your life?

OR

Accept things sincerely, Learn from your past mistake & eventually be a better person with new dreams to achieve on?

You can give out your answer via my chat box on your left side of your screen. Thank you.

Idiots

2008-08-24T03:24:00.003+08:00

It's 3.25 in the morning & i'm still wide awake. It's been an annoying night today thanks to those two girls whom i hate to talk with. Seriously, your jokes is fucking lame. Beside that jokes what you guys called ''Panat'' is way out of it's meaning. Know your limits, idiot. We know ours, so why can you?

Random survey

2008-08-21T13:20:00.002+08:00

realization.

The "I’ve Come To Realize" survey.

1. I've come to realize that, my last ex:
- is now getting chubbier & yes, i'm happy for her xp

2. I've come to realize that, when I talk:
- i tend to make an eye contact with whom i talk with.

3. I've come to realize that, I love:
- Those people around me

4. I've come to realize that my friends:
- are always backing me up, arigato

5. I've come to realize that, I've lost:
- my way to my fantasy.

6. I've come to realize that, I hate:
- myself for not achieving anything

7. I've come to realize that, marriage:
- is not something i should think about right now.

8. I've come to realize that, somewhere, someone is thinking:
- about what's life ahead in the near future.

9. I've come to realize that, I'll always:
- be the same old me but with a little bit of 'something'

10. I've come to realize that, the last time I truly cried was:
- When i missed all those memorable moments x)

11. I've come to realize that, my cell phone is:
- still the same as ever?

12. I've come to realize that, when I wake up in the morning:
- My aunt always came into my room

13. I've come to realize that, before I go to sleep at night:
- I pray to God to keep me safe

14. I've come to realize that, right now I am thinking about:
- how to get more benefits

15. I've come to realize that, I get on MySpace:
- & i don't have any

16. I've come to realize, that today:
- i have a family function at 7

17. I've come to realize, that tonight I will:
- attend my family function

18. I've come to realize that, school is:
- always another dream that i can't achieve on

19. I've come to realize that, tomorrow I will:
- do the same old routine.

20. I've come to realize that, if I had never entered the world:
- I would not get to experiences all of this memorable moments.

21. I've come to realize that, I like:
- Butter Milk Chicken!! *drools*

22. I've come to realize that, without my family:
- I would not be the person who i am, today xD

23. I've come to realize that, true love:
- is gonna come, soon. Maybe. I'm just gonna wait. X)

24. I've come to realize:
- That i'm a business minded kind of a guy. Right xp

Butter Butter Butter episode 2

2008-08-04T14:59:00.000+08:00

I'm effin hungry. Images of Butter Milk Chicken is currently playing in my mind. Yes, people i am craving for Butter Milk Chicken....again. LOL. I know Amal would hit me for this cause i know she too, craving for BUTTER MILK CHICKEN. I think i should go to the Gadong Properties & order Butter Milk Chicken there, after im done working that is xD If you too, craving for Butter Milk Chicken. You should head to the Gadong Properties. The food there is quite delicious especially the food that im currently craving for, two thumbs up, if you ask me. Beside it only cost you $5.00. For just the Butter Milk Chicken though. woooops. Got to go. The finance manager is already here, They say she doesn't communicate very well with the malays. Plus she's a chinese -_- Why am i not suprise

WARNING : YOU MAY ENCOUNTER ERROR IN SPELLING. I ADVISE YOU TO INFORM YOUR PERSONAL DOCTOR BEFORE YOU READ MY BLOG.

Sharks Basketball : Road To Redemption

2008-08-02T19:27:00.000+08:00

One way or the other we should make a huge comeback next year. This team is no longer what it used to be. Build the team chemistry back, that's should be our first priority & a little bit of individual training for myself. i guess i'm getting old. no? Seriously, i can't shoot the ball no more. I can't even run up & down the court. See? it's a fact, i'm getting old. LOL. Anyway, We should Redeem our self. The players & numbers may have changed but Sharks Basketball remain the same. Wohoo! i just made a cool quote! *jumps dottly* Speaking of the devil, this team is quite old already, 5 years? We had our own ups & down but thank god this team still standing till now with few exceptions, our style of play is TOTALLY gone -.- mixture of lazy Defense & a lame offense. We used to play great defense. Defense comes first. As the old saying goes, Great offense comes from a great Defense. I got to go, suddenly i don't feel like blogging. Cheers.

Nani YelloPanteeer

2008-08-01T03:06:00.000+08:00

Today we are going to have a special guest who are going to do blogging here in my BLOG. Ladies & Gentleman, here's Nani Yellooooooow Panter! Give her round applause my humble readers *claps*

HELLLLLLLLLLL !!!! OOOOOOO!!!! =D siapis ani tinggalkannya tia. nevermind. umm umm umm. oh yeah, today is suppose to be si apis punya anniversary sama ella tapi, its okay wah fiz inda sampai. =) am a bit stress tooday bukan lagi a bit. macam banyak wah. =( i miss si atu wah. =( but things are different now. whatever. *everything is so wonderful and blah blah..* pis you should listen to lagu si lilly allen lagunya everything is so wonderful. kalu kau sad, macam less tu jadinya. =D righhhhhttt *diyana selalu cakap rrrrriiiiight*. pis sorry aku macam sibuk becerita pasal aku di sini. kau jua cakap buleh cakap apa saja. haha. its 330 am and we are not sleepy yet. well, i am sleepy but then my mind is not sleepy. no, no. my mind is tired and something is wrong with me. ugh. shapees dalam biliknya now inda pakai baju main game sama si momad and qalis and then aku blogging and then kuin anep khairi menari and have some fun. ouh yeah, shapees keluar ya sudah, fooling around. haha. sorry wah pis. haha. *yawn*

four minutes to save the world,
and blah blah blah......

this guy is annoying. ia goyang goyangkan kerusi. nyeh.

aww i need mocha. aku tanya si apis, ko ngantuk kali nya sadang tapi balik balik sudah nguap.hahahaha.. i think ive gotta go. and sorry my english is soooo crap here. sorry pis blog mu inda lawa at this time. hehe.. night everyone. =)

Nani YellowPanter, everybody. It is nice to have you her. Give her round of applause again, Ladies & Gentleman. Wow. It's been such a long time since anyone from other planets blogging in my blog. lol. Before i yet.. again wrap things up. I would like to take this opportunity to say this..

''HAPPY ONE YEAR WINTERAUTUMN'S ANNIVERSARY''

WinterAutumn's days may never again return back but as both you & i know. The memories are always within inside this hearts of ours, it remains there, lock & the key are separated away from it. The key are being thrown so that no one will be able to separate the WinterAutumn's memories. I love you always

Random

2008-07-29T10:18:00.001+08:00

I hear voices falling. They come to me. They understand. They told me things that i will do. They show me things that i will do to you. They talk to me. They talk to me.

You got your rules & religion. All designed not other then to keep you safe but when rules start getting broken. You start to questioning your faith.

I have the voice (WasWasa) that is my savior or Qarin. Hates to loves or loves to hate. I have the voice that has the knowledge, the wisdom & the power to rule your fate.

I hear voices crying.
I see heroes dying.
I taste the blood that's drying.
I feel the tension rising.

All the lawyers are defenseless. All the doctor are disease. The preachers are all sinners & the police just take the grease.

All you jugdes you are guilty. All the bosses i will fire. All you bankers will have losses & politicians are all liars.

I see darkness falling. I hear voices calling. I feel justice crawling. I see faith has fallen.

1.09am

2008-07-29T01:08:00.000+08:00

don't reach for the star,
or you'll break down and cry.

1000 words

2008-07-25T02:52:00.000+08:00

Even if we are torn apart..

Our feelings..

Will reunite.. us..

That was is this message all about

I know that you're hiding things
Using gentle words to shelter me
Your words were like a dream
But dreams could never fool me
Not that easily

I acted so distant then
Didn't say goodbye before you left
But I was listening
You'll fight your battles far from me
Far too easily

"Save your tears 'cause I'll come back"
I could hear that you whispered as you walked through that door
But still I swore to hide the pain when I turn back the pages
Shouting might have been the answer
What if I'd cried my eyes out and begged you not to depart?
But now I'm not afraid to say what's in my heart

Though a thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
Crossing over the time and distance holding you
Suspended on silver wings

And a thousand words
One thousand confessions
Will cradle you
Making all of the pain you feel seem far away
They'll hold you forever

The dream isn't over yet
Though I often say I can forget
I still relive that day
You've been there with me all the way
I still hear you say

"Wait for me, I'll write you letters"
I could see how you stammered with your eyes to the floor
But still I swore to hide the doubt when I turn back the pages
Anger might have been the answer
What if I'd hung my head and said that I couldn't wait?
But now I'm strong enough to know it's not too late

'Cause a thousand words
Call out through the ages
They'll fly to you
Even though I can't see, I know they're reaching you
Suspended on silver wings

Oh, a thousand words
One thousand embraces
Will cradle you
Making all of your weary days seem far away
They'll hold you forever

Oh, a thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
They'll carry you home and back into my arms
Suspended on silver wings

And a thousand words
Call out through the ages
They'll cradle you
Turning all of the lonely years to only days
They'll hold you forever

Let it be. Let it be

2008-07-24T21:53:00.000+08:00

Like a son taking in by the wind
Everybody wants to give in
Something about a second chance
Can't you help me out?

If I could love you

Through the wind I can feel
Through the trees I can steal
But you never ever want to see my way
But we're here in the dark and the dogs starting to bark
Cause I'm selfish and you'll never get your way, it's okay

If I could love

Somethings going on in me that you never wanna see
I think somethings wrong with you
But you know that I love you
You don't seem to be around even when everything's going down
Why don't you wanna feel my pain?

If I could love you
You're driving me crazy, crazy, crazy

Let it be. Let it be.

Another day.. Another day

2008-06-27T23:58:00.000+08:00

People of all ages i present to you..

Yes, as it entitle there. This was the Hakats round of knights.. including that weirdo wearing i love new york T-shirt over there. Tehehe. Right! This was taken right after we had our small birthday party btw. As usual i didn't do any particular work at the office. I'm busy taking everybody's picture but sadly it didn't go my way. What? i'm not that quite good YET! but someday i will *smirks* i ended up taking some from Brian who is as well busy taking everybody's pictures. Here some of his works..

omg.. my hair.. its like i'm wearing a helmet. Should i cut my hair or have my hair go rebonding instead? anyway here's another picture taken by Brian but i edited them just to add a little bit of awesome-ness. ehehe.

For some reason that pose of her remind me of someone.. ring a bell anyone? tehehe

This were taken right after the birthday party. Hey Fiz! The lens is right in front of you! Not sideways!

annnnnnnnd thats the only pictures i managed to get from Brian. The rest he already upload it to his own multiply which is i already forgot what his multiply address is. Maybe i'll ask him tomorrow so that you readers can visit and look through some of his splendid photos that he took professionally. Its awesome *Two thumps up*

All right people, time to wrap thing up but before i go have my dream vacation. I would like to leave you with the pictures of day which were taken by yours truly *kirais* and a shout out for everyone's to read. Kapish. Goodnight.

''Though it was just a simplest birthday party ever you had in your life but we wanted you to know that this is our gift to you before you part your ways to continue your own journey. May you have more birthday to come. Long live. Have a blast. Happy 19th Birthday''

I have no idea of what i'm posting here

2008-06-23T18:27:00.000+08:00

Yes, three smiling Donuts i bought from Lof Bakery for an opening. Did i managed to seduce everyone's hunger? No? Anyway, I just got back from my so work.. so called ''work''.. see the sign at the beginning & at the end of the word work? aha yeah, work. pffft. I may look like doing my work but actually i didn't, mind you. I asked the new girl in town to do all my bindings. Bwahaha. Hopefully she didn't report this sin of mine once the Operation Manager gets back from her hometown *gasp* Don't dare to tell her of my wrong doing or else i'll cut your body to pieces. Then i'll throw them into the grave & let the insect devour you bit bit till you'll become no more women! oooh.. i know you're reading this.. yes.. yes.. Let the image of you being devour by the insect play in your mind. Painful isn't it?

Kidding! xD haha. Scare the hell out of your Shit ey newbie? No worries, for someone like me doing all that shit would probably making my life ended up in prison or what worst i'll be sentences to dead!! OMG! heeeeelp!! wow.. I think my fantasy staring to get the best of me. Snap out of it HAFIZ! *bang my head on the keyboard* Lately i've been always on the other side of world. Maybe the boredom or the stress-dom of work get the shit out of me ey? aha it's a good thing for me to imagine all that fantasy because it can just relive me from all this fucked up problems. Let the fantasy do all the work. Just keep it on rolling. As a friend of mine always said..

'Your illusion is my Fantasy'

I'll be leaving you with the picture of the day. Kapissh my readers!

We need Mr.Mamba ASAP!

2008-06-13T16:50:00.002+08:00

The Celtics have done it. They've put a greater damage on the playoff series & they are now one game away for them to win the NBA crown.

Hi everybody i'm Hafiz here to report you live from where i was sitting. Uh.. Anyway, for those Lakers fans reader out there our Lakers is on their way slipping another championship trophy like they did againts Detroit 4 years ago. Though they played better ball games than they were 4 years ago but its still not ENOUGH..

They need The Mamba, Kobe Bryant not just to contribute the ball but to score at will as well. I mean c'mon now.. This is the Finals Kobe! Your first title without Shaq & your 4th ring! Oh & not to forget this is Phil Jackson 11 NBA playoff finals appearance as a head coach. If they win the championship he will rise on top suppressing Red Aurebech with 10 NBA Rings fit for each fingers. If they win that is..

No, i'm not giving up on the Lakers yet but down with 3 to 1 Celtics lead? Every Lakers fans, yes, including me is terrified now. Fear for what the Lakers had built will slip another championship chances. Try opening the NBA history book & search for a Team that are down 3-1, made a come back to tie the series & win the the championship. Guess what? You wouldn't find one because there's no team in the NBA history, not even Micheal Jordan & his Bulls ever win the NBA finals series down with 3-1. Na ah! Nada! Zero! So yeah, We as the Laker's fans need Kobe to play at his best. To play as the Mamba once again.

Maybe at that.. they can turn around the series & win the championship.

Maybe at that.. they will be remembered as the greatest team in NBA history to win a championship with 3-1 deflection

Last but not least..

Maybe at that..

'A new history will be written in the NBA LEGACY'

Uh.. Ah.. Heaven xD

2008-06-12T14:18:00.001+08:00

Have you ever wonder why Bruneian people always running up wild whenever there is a new shop open? Hmm *wondering*

Now where were we..

..Hello again my humble readers *bow* guess what? Since our operation manager is away for three weeks. I, Hafiz soon to cosplay as Leleuch el Brtiania will be Hakats temporary Operation Manager! So as in now! I'll rename Hakats into the order of Hakats knights! Rejoice my people!

..Yeah right, as if..

They wouldnt give that position to someone who always disturbing others doing their work anyway *sulk at the corner* great! I'm darn bored.. Can someone entertaint me please? Wat about you? Yes, you. The one who are reading this. Can you entertaint me? No? *glare*

oh.. My.. Stomach.. it hurts.. Oooh i can hear the toilet bowl is calling me.. Heaveeen is upon meee.. Woweee..

Beyond the wall ending

2008-05-31T17:19:00.000+08:00

Cheers erupt at the wall.

The wall that had separated the two worlds for decades had just been broken through.

Representatives from this side and the other side walk through the opening, greet each other with smiles and firm handshakes and embrace.

The cheers grew louder and people.. mostly members of the younger generation gather in circles here and there expressing the joy.

Yuguno glares down at his own shadow and ask Argonar

''So, what should i do now? All i've ever done is hate. All i've ever known how to do is hate them.''

Argonar gave Yuguno a pat on the shoulder and says :

''It's not to late to change. You can start now.''

''Can i?''

''you can. I'm sure of it.''

Argonar is sure because he knew what it was like when both sides were a single country. It was a kindly nation. By no means rich, it was yet a happy country of compassionate people.

I'm telling you, Yuguno. People can change.''

''If you say so..''

''Look over there. Look at this people enjoying themselves.''

Hesitantly, Yuguno raises his head. Around the wall a celebration is beginning. Young people are dancing, singing, toasting each other, engaging in conversation and all of them used to be companions of Yuguno's who received the same education he did. No doubt the young people on the other side were similarly educated to hate.

''What do you see over there? Demons? Devil?''

Yuguno shakes his head and lets the tightness go out of his shoulders.

''I'm beginning to wonder, Argonar, why until now i've been so..''

Arganor pats him on the shoulder again to signal that he understands.

''People can changed'' he says.

''They can change from hating to loving and from loving to hating.''

Yes, Argonar knew about that as well. He saw how such a wonderfully unified country was divided in two at the end of a violent civil war.

''Don't change anymore.'' Argonar says. Not just to Yuguno but to all the smiling young as well.

A young girl hesitantly approaches Yuguno. She from the other side. She holds a plate full of cookies.

''Have some if you'd like. I baked them this morning.'' she says.

The cookies are heart-shaped.

Urged on by the smiling Argonar. Yuguno reaches out for the cookie, his face turned red.

Th.. thanks.'' he says shyly and takes a bite of his cookie.

Good? she asks.

Yuguno turns a cleeper shade o red and says Delicious!

White birds cut across the blue sky from the other side to this side. From this side to the other. The white birds sail through the sky almost joyfully as if to tell the people below..

''In the beginning there were no borders''

Beyond the wall part 2

2008-05-31T16:06:00.000+08:00

Watch out~ the other side going to attack at anytime.

Watch out~ the other side are all cruel, cold hearted villains.

Watch out~ if the side ever invaded us and occupied our towns, they'd burn down our houses, steal our property, kill our men and assault our women.

Watch out~ the day is not far off when they will be invading us. It could be three days from now or it could be tomorrow. They might be climbing the wall today. This very moment.

Watch out~ they've already sent their spies among us and you can tell for sure who they are. They're the ones who extol and sympathize with the other side by word and by deed.

Watch out~ they're probing for the slightest gaps in our psychological armor. Remain alert. Be ready to draw your sword at any moment.

Watch out. Watch out. Watch out. Watch out.

There were much to be found out about the other side in the history books distributed on this side. The pictures of the people from the other side portrayed them all as ferocious demons.

''Im not the only one, you know. All of us were taught the same thing. So how come everybody but me is so happy about the wall coming down?'' Yuguno ask, looking utterly bewildered by these new developments.

Again and again he repeats his disbelieve.

Finally, Arganor cannot help but respond to him.

''You were too pure'' he say.

''What?''

''It's not your fault, Yuguno. Its the one who filled your pure, honest heart with hatred.''

''Wait a second now Argonar. The animals who live on the other side of the wall are the ones who did that to me, the horrible thing they do...''

Argonar cuts him short

''Have they ever done anything horrible to you?''

''Well sure, no, not really to me, but..''

''Just what is it you hate the other side for?''

''well you see..''

Yuguno is momentarily at loss for words until all he can do is raise his voice and blurt out.

''Its true though. The whole bunch of them are just horrible people!''

He folds his arms in a decided pout.

''How are they horrible? What did you ever see any of them do? When? Where?''

Yuguno stammers and sputters.

''Have you ever even meet somebody from over there?'' Argonar demands to know.

Yuguno hangs his head and shakes it from side to side. With a grim smile. Argonar says :

''Well i have and they are not devils or demons or anything of the sort How could they be? you all used to be part of the same country! But that stuff is beside the point anyway... countries and races and tribes. You're all human beings. You're all the same.''

Yuguno stays silent, hanging his head.

END OF PART 2

Beyond the wall

2008-05-31T14:59:00.000+08:00

The wall is being demolished.

Sledgehammers resound on both sides.

The wall marked the national border for decades.. until yesterday. ''Border'' might not be the right word, however, Originally, both sides were part of a single nation. The country became divided owing to different ideology and the two sides reminded so mutually antagonistic that a high, thick wall had to be built.

Those days are gone now.

A year ago, the leaders of the two sides shock hands in a historic reconciliation.

Today, after much preparation and coordination, the wall that symbolized the two sides antagonism is being demolished. The sound of hammering signals the end of opposition and extols the beginning of peace.

''C'mon, give me a break!'' says Yugono, spiting on the ground and glaring at the backs of the people swarming at the wall.

''Look at them smiling like idiots, I can't believe it!''

He glance at Arganor by his sides as if to say ''Right?''

His still boyish face wears a scowl of disgust.

''Tell me,Argonar, you've been to a lot of different countries and seen all kinds of people. Can people just take years of hatred like that and throw it out the window?''

Argonar gives him a sour smile instead of replying. Yuguno is a young man, the first person that Argonar became friends with shortly after he arrived in this border town. he is pleasant enough except for his stubborn hatred of people from the other side.''

''One lousy handshake and im out of a job. I mea really, give me a break''

Yuguno used to be a border guard~ in other word, one of the man assigned to keep watch on the wall. He had volunteered, eager to kill anyone who dared to come over the wall from the other side. If his superiors had permitted it, he would have gladly
crossed over and attacked the other side rather than waiting to fend off an invasion.

As a mandatory part of the reconciliation, however, the border guards were disbanded. Unlike his brothers in arms, who quickly started new lives for themselves. Yuguno was left behind by the changing times.

''Tell me Argonar, can people be allowed to just slough off their resentments so easily? Do they give a damn?''

Arganor does not respond to this.

He knows that Yuguno is a victim of the age of confrontation.

Still just a young man, a boy, even. Yuguno has been throughly conditioned since childhood to view the other side as enemy..

END OF PART 1

Butter, Butter, Butter

2008-05-29T10:25:00.000+08:00

I'm hungry. I can't even concentrate doing all my work. Gaah. Lame opening for a blogger ney? Haha but really i'm effin hungry. Havent eat my breakfast yet. Hmph. Woke up early though. Haha. I'm guessing this what you guys had in mind ryt?

"He wake up early but he didnt eat his breakfast? Huh. I wonder"

I even wonder that myself. Why i didnt eat up breakfast huh? Hmm.. *wondering* anyway, i'm craving for Butter Milk Chicken. slruuup. I dont why but the image are already playing in my mind. Oooh Butter Milk Chicken *drools*

Maybe, I'll have it a go during my lunch time. Hmm.. Or should i have Butter prawn instead? *drools*

Just the same old me

2008-05-25T00:33:00.000+08:00

Once again i welcome you all to my fantasy world, oh my dear humble readers *bow* I just beat the hell crap out of Mimin in NBA 2k8 ladies and gentleman. Well its not that easy though. It took me 4 OVER TIME to end the dual between the two Bangang people in the P.C.A. Not bad for just a mere Newbie ey? All credits for him but he's still got a long way to go to earn our respect. Hahaha. You have to beat all of us, if you want to earn it that is. Ehe. Speaking of the Devil, The LA LAKERS has taken 2-0 lead over the SAN ANTONIO SPURS in the NBA WESTERN FINALS. The SPURS will host the next two game which where they are undefeated at home so good luck LAKERS and hopefully they get through the WESTERN FINALS and kick the EASTERN CHAMPS ARSEEE.

Anyway Dee asked me to join the cosplay that going to be held later this June. I decided to pair up with her so that things will get much more easier because i cannot handle this kind of stuff all alone. ehe. Ouh ouh what do u guys think about this character?
Sorry, its not that really clear but just to let you readers know. This pic here i took it from CODE GEASS : lELEUCH OF THE REBELLION. The anime which i currently addicted to. Oh & Leleuch is the pretty boy wearing the school uniform btw. I'm planning to cosplay as Leleuch. *Gasp* Guess what? I just browser the costume in the net & GOD HELP ME it cost me 150 bucks just for the costume,excluding the wig,shipment & stuff but if i include all of those.. All & all it'll cost you 200 bucks *scratch head* Anywaaaaaay, what do you guys think? Should i cosplay as Leleuch? Let me hear what you guys think ya? You can leave a ur msg at my tag board, Thank You. Till next time. Now shoo. Bye-bye *push you out of the gate & shut the gate* Me & imagination x)

''YOUR ILLUSION IS MY FANTASY''

Anime addict

2008-05-22T00:59:00.000+08:00

I've got admit it i kind get addicted to this anime, Code Geass : Luluech The Rebellion. It has two seasons overall. One which contains 40+ episodes & the other contains only 12 episodes or maybe more. So far i've only 12 episodes though. Wait, make it 13 cause i just download episode 13. Nyaha earlier, i was thinking to rest my brain out for staring out the monitor for hours but the previous episode eager me up to watch the next episode. Haha. Seriously, If you watch this anime you will couldn't stop thinking what will going happen next. If you are truly ''ADDICTED'' that is. Anyway i got go the downloading is already at it's peak. So.... CODE GEASS HERE I COMEE!!

p/s : To Amal , You should really watch this anime. I mean it. It's Freaking awesome. Hahaha.

uh..im back?

2008-05-07T03:40:00.000+08:00

Howdy! Yet again, it's been AWHILE ney? since everyone wanted me to update things, so here i am sitting in front of my newly bought LAPTOP thinking what to write in this blog of mine. Hmm *checking on the time* It's 2.50 in the morning, 10 more minutes till 3. I'm gonna be pretty sleepy at the office later, Like always. Hahaha. Oh yeah, since i am not that active updating my blog so i'm guessing that most of you didn't know what i have been doing for this past few weeks. Not that you care though but nevertheless i got a job already, it's at HAKATS somewhere near kg.Delima & we are doing DIGITALISING btw. Quite an interesting job if you ask me, but the management there is quite poor, not the WHOLE branch that is. Only us, THE DELIMA office or should i say branch? what the heck either way means the same. aha.

Anyway i can't really recalled back what had happened for this few weeks but what i do remember is that all things that happened in front of my very eyes cannot be accepted by just simply watching it because your mind cannot accept it just like that, let alone reading this. You must feel it, embrace it with your own very mind & soul. Get me? I don't expect for you guys to understand it though. It's only for those who has the strong will of believing in the unimaginable & understand them. ehe. Weirdo am i?

Alright i'm gonna wrap things up. It's late already. Till next time readers. Kapissh.

60th

2008-05-04T00:52:00.000+08:00

once upon a december.

i am out of ideas bam -___- i hope its alright.

2 am

2008-03-21T02:53:00.001+08:00

Its 2 in the morning ¤tly i'm at my cousin's house. His dad is not doing so well, the devil's fart got him, Ahmar wind. It's not just that though. The ustaz told us that someone made him suffered like that. Heh. Wait till we get our hands on you bitch. Don't think we know nothing about this kind of stuff (:

Back, sorry i just carried my uncle to his bed, with my cousins help of course. Man he's heavy. It tooks five ppl to lift him up. I used to carry him when he was sick tho but no, not this time. Some say the Jin inside is what made him heavy & yes, i do believe that.

There this strange atomsphere whenever i go to his left part of the infected body. It's cold but yet it's so warm. I don't know, i just cant describe it clearly here. All i know is that the left part of my uncle's body brings strange evilness aura.

Sometimes seeing him like that makes my tears fall. He used to make us laugh with his creative jokes but now look at him, he's just like a helpless child without his mother. Sigh. Get well soon yeah?

I'm darn sleepy. I need to sleep for tomorrow work but i can't do that just yet till my shift is over. I need to look after my uncle here.

Got to go. My uncle need my help. Goodnight readers. Kapish for now.

White flower the ending

2008-03-18T23:08:00.000+08:00

A violent earthquake struck the town before dawn. Argonar's house collapsed in a heap of rubble.

Argonar's two loved ones departed for that distant other world before they could awaken frm their deep sleep & without ever having had a chance to say 'Good morning' to him...

The morning sun rose on a town that had been destroyed in an instant. Amid the rubble, the flowers were blooming~the white flower that Argonar's daughter had wanted so badly to see.

Argonar thought to lay a flower in offering on his daughter's cold corpse bt abandoned the idea.

He could nt bring himself to pick a flower.

No one~no living being on the face of the earth, he realized had the right to snatch the life of a flower that possessed that life for only one short day.

Argonar could nvr say to his daughter,
'You go first to heaven & wait for me. I'll be there before long'

Nor would he ever know the joy of reunion with his loved ones.

To live for a thousand years meant bearing the pain of a thousand years of partings..

Argonar continued his long journey.

A dizzying number of years & months flowed by years & months during which numberless wars & natural calamities scourged ther earth. Ppl were born & they died. They loved each other & were parted frm ones they loved. There were joys beyond measure & sorrows just as measureless. Ppl fought & argued without end but they also loved & forgave each other endlessly. Thus was history built up as the tears of the past evolved gradually into prayers for the future.

Argonar continued his long journey.

After a while, he rarely thought about the wife & daughter with whom he had spent those few short days in the harbor town but never forgot them.

Argonar continued his long journey.

& in the course of his travels he stopped by this harbor town again..

He offer up a prayer. Argonar closed his eyes come the smiling face of his dead wife & daughter. Why are they so beautiful & so sad, these faces that believe with all their hearts that tomorrow is sure to come?

200 years had passed. The white flower had changed. Where before they would bloom & wither in the space of a single day, now they hold their blooms for three & four days at a time.

Moistened by the dew of night, bthed in the light of the sun, the white flowers strive to live their lives to thf fullest, beautifying the town as if rtriving to live out the portion of life denied to whose 'tomorrows' were snatched away from them forever...

White flower episode 2

2008-03-18T22:58:00.001+08:00

He just wanted to find out for himself whether the townspeople were still handing down the memories of the tragedy whether deep down behind their laughing faces, there still lingered the sorrow that had been passed down from their forefather's time.

Called away by one of his customers, the tavern master leaves Argonar's side but nt without first delivering a warning.

'Be careful what you say. Sir. That kind of nonsense can get you in trouble. Really. Think about it, the earthquake happend all of two hundred years ago!'

Arganor does nt answer him. Instead he sips his liquor in silence.

Among the ones who died in the tragedy two hundred years ago were his wife & daughter.

Of all the dozens of wives & hundreds of children that he has had in his enternal life, the wife & child he had here were unforgettable.

In those days, he had a job at the harbor. There were just the three of them~he,his wife & their little girl. They lived simply and happily.

The same kind of days that had preceded today would continue on into endless tomorrows. Everyone in the town believed that, including Argonar's wife & daughter of course.

But Argonar knew differently. Precisely because his own life was long without end & he had consequently tasted the pain of countless partings. He knew all too well that in the daily life of humans there was no 'forever.'

This life his family leading would have to end someday. It could not go on unchanged. This was by no means a cause for sorrow, however. Denied a grasp upon 'forever.' Human beings knew how to love & cherish the here & now.

Argonar espcially loved to show his daughter flowers, the more fragile & short-lived the better.

Flowers that bloomed with the morning sun & scattered before the sun went down. They were everywhere in this harbor town, lovely, white flowers that bloomed in early spring.

His daughter loved the flowers. She was a gentle child who would never break off blossoms that had struggled so bravely to bloom. Instead, she simply watched them for hours at a time.

That year, too...

'Look how big the buds are! They'll be blooming any time now!' she said happily when she found the white flowers on the road near the house.

Tomorrow,maybe? Argonar wondered aloud.

'Absolutely!' his wife chimed in merrily. Get up early tomorrow mrning & have a look!'

'Poor little flowers, though.' said the daughter. 'Its nice when they bloom but then they wither right away.'

'All the better.' said Argonar's wife. Its good luck if you get to see them blooming. That makes it more fun.'

'It may be fun for us us' answered the girl.'but think about the poor flowers. They work so hard to open up & they wither the same day. Its sad...'

'Well, yes. I guess so...'

A momentary air of sadness flowed into the room but Argonar quickly dispelled it with a laugh.

'Happiness is not the same thing as longevity!' he proclaimed.

What does that mean, papa?'

'It may not bloom for long but the flower's happy if it can open up the prettiest blossom & give off the sweetes perfume it knows how to make while it is blooming.'

The girl seemed to be having trouble grasping this & simply nodded with a little sight. She then broke into a smile & said, 'it must be true if you say so, papa!'

Your smile is more beautiful than any flower in full bloom.

He should have said it to her.

Argonar later regretted that he had not.

The words he had uttered so carelessly, he came to realize, turned out to be something of a prophecy.

'Well now, yound lady,' he said. 'If you're getting up early to see the flowers tomorrow mrning. You'd better go to bed right now.'

'All right, papa. If i really have to...'

'Im going to bed now, too.' said Argonar's wife.

'okay, then. G'nite, papa'

His wife said to Argonar 'Goodnight dear. I really am going to bed now.'

'Good night.' Argonar replied, enjoying one last cup to ease the day's fatigue.

These turned out to be the last words the family shared....

End of episode 2

White flower ep 1

2008-03-18T21:46:00.000+08:00

Lovely white flowers mark the town. They bloom on every street corner, not in beds or fields set aside for cultivation but blending naturally & in profusion with every row of houses, as though the buildings anda the blossoms have grown up together.

The season is early spring & snow still lingers on the nearby mountains but the stretch of ocean that gently laps the town's southern shore is bathed in refulgent sunlight.

This is an old & prosperous harbourtown. Even now, each day its piers see many cruise ships and freighters come & go.

Its history, however, is sharply divided between the time ''before'' and the time ''after'' an event that happened one day long ago.

People here prefer nt to talk about it~the watershed engraved upon the town's chronology.

The memories are too sorrowful to make stories out of them.

Argonar knows this & because he knows it, he has come here once again.

''passing through?'' the tavern master asked him.

At the sound of his voice. Argonar responds with a faint smile.

''You're here for the festival, i suppose. You should tke ur time & enjoy it.''

The man is in high spirits. He had joined his customer in glass after glass until now & is quite red in the face, but no one shows any signs of blaming him for overindulging. Every seat in the tavern is filled & the air reverberates with laughter. Happy voices can be heard now & then as well from the road outside.

The entire town is celebrating. Once each year the festival has people making merry all night long until the sun comes up.

''I hope you've got a room for the night, sir. Too late to find one now! Every inn is full to overflowing.''

''So it seems.''

''Not that anyone would be foolish enough to spend a night like this quietly tucked away under the covers in his room.''

The tavern master winks at Argonar as if to say ''Not you, sir. Im sure!''

''Tonight we're going to have the biggest, wildest party you've ever seen & everybody's invited~locals or not. Drink,food,gambling,women. Just let me know wat you want. I'll mke sure you have it.''

Argonar sips his drink & say nothing.

Because he is planning to stay awake all night, he has not taken a room, though he had no plans to enjoy the festival, either.

Argonar will be offering up a prayer at the hour before dawn when the night is at its darkest & deepest. He will leave the town, sent off by the morning sun as it pokes its face up between then mountains & the sea. Just as he did at the time of his last visit. Back then, the tavern master, who a few minutes ago was telling one of his regular customers that his first grandchild is about to be born, was himself just an infant.

''This one's on me. Drink up!'' says the tavern master, filling Argonar's shot glass.

He peers at him suspiciously & says, ''You did come for the festival, didnt you?''

"No, not really." says Argonar.

"Dont tell me you didn't know about it! You mean you came here by pure chance?''

"Afraid so."

"Well, if you came here on business, forget it. You'll nvr get serious talk out of anybody on a special night like this."

The tavern master goes on to explain wat is so special about this night.

"You must've heard something about it. Once, a long, long time ago. This town was almost completely destroyed."

There are two kinds of events that divided history into ''before'' & "after" one is the birth or death of some great personage~a hero or a savior. The other is something like a war or plague or natural disaster. What divided this town's history into ''before" & "after" was a violent eartquake. It happend without warning & gave the soundly sleeping ppl of the town no chance to live. A crack opened up in the earth with a roar & roads & buildings just fell to pieces. Fires started & spread in the twinkling of an eye.

Almost everyone was killed..

"You probably cant imagine it. All i know is what they taught me in school & what does "Resurrection Festival" mean to a kid? It was something that happend 'once upon a time.' I live here & that's all it means to me. So a traveler lke you probably cant even begin to imagine what it was like"

'Is that they call this holiday? Resurrection Festival?'

'Uh-huh. The town was resurrected frm a total ruin to this. Thats wat the celebration is all about.'

Argonar gaves the man a grim smile & sips his liquor.

'Whats so funny?' the tavern master asked.

'Last time i was here they were calling it 'Earthquake Memorial Day.' It wasnt a festival for this kind of wild celebrating.'

'What are you talking about? It's been the 'Resurrection Festival' ever since i was a kid'

'That was because you were old enough to remember anything'

'Huh?'

'And before that, they called it 'Consolation of the spirits.' they'd burn a candle for each person who died & pray for them to RIP. It was a sad festival. Lots of cying.'

'You sound as if you saw it happening yourself'

'I did'

The tavern master laughs with a loud snorts.

'You look sober but you must be plastered out of ur mind! Now listen, its festival night. Ro im going to let you off the hook for pulling my leg but dont say stuff lke that in front of the other townspeople. All of our ancestors, mine included, are the one who barely escaped with their lives.'

Argonar knows fully well wat he is doing. He never expeted the man to believe him.

End of episode 1

Another winter's fairytale

2008-03-12T17:37:00.000+08:00

Now ending discreetly just like a hidden sin, as i go under pls tuck me in.

Make me invisible.

This hidden explosion calls for a wandering cast with no direction.

Enter another season let us twist another fairytale

Go kill the lights, we'll glow till morning comes. I'll say goodnight and bow to everyone, then we go under. The beauties are sleeping as fruit just rots away.

Make me invincible. There was a weeping i carried down today, a sigh worth keeping. Deep within divinity let's star another secret show.

No need to worry it is just another winter. No need to fear here in the secret show. No need to worry, i am the same as you, a Winter.

In you, i'll see me in the Winter fairytale

uhuk uhuk

Time after time

2008-03-11T00:07:00.000+08:00

Another day, waking to the same old beat. Counting doors, walking through the same old street. Breathing in, breathing out the same.

Nothing's change, just imitating yesterday, counting down all the opportunities. It's down to one, now everything is falling down on me. Alarm bells are warning me to do something new.

Get away, i've got to get away

I heard the sound of something new, oh please give me the keys to unlock you.

Time after time, nothing has changed, day after day, we were still the same and i feel that i'm gonna break cause i cannot wait to repeat yesterday.

It's just a game where you're the boss and i'm just a slave. You trap me in and i just play to entartain, nothing more. So make your move and i'll be ok. I tried my best but all you do is just laughing and then walk away from me.

A gun shot will wake u up at night, you better run or you will end up seeing the light.

Early morning

2008-03-09T05:52:00.001+08:00

It's 5 in the morning & i cant sleep. I cough a lot today. Hmph. Alolo. I need to go home. Enough sands & ocean for today. I need to go & watch Yati doing her karate stuff at 8. Go Yaaaaaati. Daaady missed youuu. I'll see you lateeer *kicks & punches*

New season, same old Hafiz

2008-03-09T03:25:00.000+08:00

Back. It's been a while people.. Again. Lots of things been going lately. War i tell you. Probably the worst. Why it all always came down to me. Hmm maybe God wanted to see me how i handle things ney? Pffft. Trial, trial, trial.

Sometimes i wanted to die so badly. EMO ALERT PEOPLE. seriously, yes, i want it so much. There this one time when i found out that i didn't qualified for something. I get so fucked up. I keep on staring the kitchen's knife. Haha.

There this tiny people in my head, a devil i might add. He always whispered to my ear 'Go ahead, do it. There's nothing you can do anymore. You are just a garbage'. Yes, people i'm thinking to cut my wrist & bah! Be gone. Hahaha but then there this flying tiny people which is in my head as well. He said 'NOO, don't do it. You know where you will end up to if u do that. There is still a chances. Don't give up. GOD take away things, so that GOD can give u something better'

I decided not to do it. Hah. I can't barely take the consequences. I am not that stupid. Ahaha. If commiting one suicide is not a sin. Believe me, I WILL DO IT without giving me a second thought but there is always a rule. So yeah, i just let GOD decide. Pfft. I am not a EMO PERSON, mind you.

It's just that when there is so much problems. Things that you cannot handle inside that tiny head of yours. Trust me, you'll be in that zone. So much pressure till you can't hold no more. Emmm.

Alright got to go. The sands and ocean are waiting. Night people.
Kapishh for now.

p/s ; Aten, you still owe me something. Haha. Alolo. I miss you xp

My escape x)

2008-02-28T02:10:00.000+08:00

I've given up on giving up slowly, i'm blending in so you won't even know me apart from this whole world that share my fate.

This one bullet you mention is one last shot for my redemption because i know to live you must give your life away.

And i've been housing all this doubt & insecurity & i've been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key.

And i've been dying to get out & that might the death of me. Eventhough there's no way im knowing where to go.

Promise i'm going because i gotta get outta here & i'm begging you, i'm begging you..

I'm begging you to be my escape.

I'm giving up on doing this alone now cause i've failed & i'm ready to shown how. She told me the way & i'm trying to get there.

And this life sentence that i'm serving. I admit i'm every bit deserving but the beauty grace is that makes life not fair.

I am a hostage to my own humanity. Self detained & forced to live in this mess that i've made.

All I'm asking is for you to do what you can with me but i can't ask you to give what you already give.

I've stuck inside this hut that i fell into mistake. I've gotta get outta here & i'm begging you, i'm begging you..

I'm begging you to be my escape x)

kapissh readers. Oh & WinterThird, Aten, nyaha you owe me something. Wuu. See you at the rugby match baby. If i'm able that is. Bubyee.

Trials from above (':

2008-02-25T00:25:00.001+08:00

Its 12 midnight.

Seven more hours till the lower six students will start their first day of school. Congratulations to those who get their shot for the A lvl course btw (: ah yes, jealous much. I dream.. I dream that i'll be in sixth form this year & escape from this humilating enviroment of mine but then again, i guess God decided not to end it just yet huh? (:

I just can imagined how sixth form enviroment would be with us, PCA, around. Us, sitting all together like old times at the canteen. Laughing, panat-ing, annoyed each other with individual jokes. Heh. sigh. I guess that would never happend ney? It WILL happend but without me in it (':

Sometimes i even wonder to myself, why i never always achvied my dreams? Why i always being the one who got left out? Why am i always being the one who is always being the stupidest among all of them after all of those hard work that i've done? WHY AM I SUCH A FUCKING FAILURE IN ALL THINGS?! (': sigh..

All of this.. Despite all of this.. I may still be here in the dark but someday.. someday.. i'll find the light & that light will be my escape (':

I'm sorry readers, moment of depression there. Dont mind me. I just wanna let things out. Hee. Goodnight. Kapish for now.

Hmm...

2008-02-22T17:37:00.000+08:00

Really bored at the moment... so saja2 blog

Right, today's story. Went out with Nurul. Cruising around Gadong, had an awesome time. Bila lagi buleh go out? haha

I'm blogging using Aten's laptop at the moment, too lazy to use my phone. Those small keypads make me go nuts, siuk lagi pakai laptop. Heee random much?. Played some DDR tadi, naleh ku eh. Go Aten! Expert bah ank atu main, aku ani dui basic jua gnya :'(

Out for now, gonna go home soon. I'll blog some other time then.

Kapishhh for now readers.

Depression 2008

2008-02-21T22:37:00.001+08:00

Its 10.25pm

Currently panat-ing with my cuzey. Haha. I have got to admit it though. I feel a lil bit akward since all of them got through their 'A' & 'O' lvl exams :) i'm waaay out of their league already. Envy them much. You know this heart of mind always telling me not to give up evnthough im still here, in the darkness. So yeah, thats what i'm going to do. I'll keep on searching the light but that doesnt changed the fact how i felt at this very moment (:

Goodnight people. Lots of things to do tomorrow. Oh & Aten you owe me a DDR. Hee. See you at the Rugby match tomorrow. Kapishh.

21st january 2008

2008-02-21T16:05:00.001+08:00

HAPPY 4TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY TO WINTERAUTUMN'S STORY

Its the 21st of January. Nothing intresting happend today. Woke up at 6. Took my shower. Ate my breakfast & went straight to Nurul's place because we wanted to discuss about our plan. Yes, at 6 plus in the morning people. Haha had to prepare all the stuff that are needed for the meeting. We waited for the others to come & they were late! We waited for 3 hours. Damn it! Haha anyway while we were at it, Nurul taught me how to play DDR. I know how to play it thought but not as good as them, Aten & Nurul. Seriously, they are expert at it. Shake that booty baby. Hahaha.

Okay okay lets skip that part. Haha. By 8 both Freedy & Niski came. At last! I wonder what you guys been up to ey? *wondering* & they were followed by Nazeem & Shikin. We started our meeting as soon as the other group arrived. The meeting lasted for only an hour though. I dont know wheather its a meeting or what. Too much laughing & panat-ing. Haha. But what the heck i enjoy it xD

Went home at 1. Lay down on my bed & here i am, blogging while watching Hakeem played Call of Duty 4.

Alright. I have to ready my things. Got bstbll practice soon. Good day readers.

P/S, Do we need that much for a model, Nurul? haha.

18th January 2008

2008-02-19T03:34:00.001+08:00

Hello again my humble readers. Sorry, that i didnt blog again for this past 3 days. I've been busy again playing video games! & i just finished playing Mass Effect. It took me two days to finish this game up, that, explain why again i didnt write anything here for the past 3 days. Anyway, i like the ending to this game. We have to make a choice to determine the storyline ending. Each with its own badass ending baby *thumbs up* but sadly this game, Mass Effect doesnt end just there. I guess you gamers out there know what it means, yes? It means that the game hasn't written its offcially ending just yet!, the saga will be continued in Mass Effect 2! Which has yet been confirm when its release will be. Damn it *snaps* oh well, i'll just have two wait then.

For the time being i wanted to play my newly bought rugby game! Yes, a rugby game. I always wanted to play this rising rugby since its release. Hee, Oh oh speaking of rugby, last Friday, 15 January 2008, PTE'S RUGBY TEAM, THE PTE SIXERS WON THEIR 1ST MATCH OF THE SEASON! WOHOO! haha. All credits to Saffuan who carried the team all the way towards the end. Not to mention the supporters that they had lead by the Red hair hot loud senorita mamamiya, Ateeen. Now i know why they choose you as a paintball marshal, Aten. You are loud senoritaa. Haha nevertheless, they played their role perfectly. So err half credits for them as well. Hehehe.

& its 3.24 in the morning. Time to hit the bed. Got lot of things to do tomorrow which is today *yawn* goodnight readers. Kapishhhh. Up up and awaaaaay *trbng nth kmna*

Hello again :D

2008-02-13T02:07:00.001+08:00

I'm baaaaack people. Its been a while ney? Been busy playing my newly game console, xbox360. Haha. I know i know i should have bought Playstation 3 since it's only $625 but the disc.. they sold it over $100+ per disc. I cant afford to buy the disc each week! my pockets might go empty at the end of the month!, if i buy playstation 3 that is.

Nothing much happend today. Picked up Fizah at PTE this afternoon & man it was packed with lots of cars! & chicks baby *drools* tehehe. ANYWAY, I can't even imagined how it would look like when their juniors come in, we'll be surely hearing cars horning everywhere ey? Ouh ouh i saw Amal & her dad went by pass us. She didnt regonised us though *hits c Amal* Probably because of the car, she would have notice it though if i drive my dad's Blue Vanila sky car. Yes, that car has a goofy name. Aten is the one who gave that name. Ehe nevertheless it suits with the car's blue paint, yes? Hahaha.

Went home by 3 then soon after that we went to the near store but this time Fizah is the one who is driving & maaaan, it was one hell of a ride. Believe me, when she's the one sitting on the driver seat, you should quickly buckle up your ass & phone your family that you love them.Tehehe, Luckily we all went back a piece though. THANK GOD. If you're reading this i'm ready to kick your arse WOMAN, bring it on. Hahaha.

*yawn* damn it. Mars calling. Speaking of Mars, heard Mars rotation changed into the clockwise direction. It should be the other way round, anti-clockwise. Hmm too many sign had been shown lately. The end is probably just around the corner. Oh well, we'll just have to see what will happend in the near future, yes?

Goodnight readers oh & Happy Birthday to si gigiran Amal PEEK A BOO! Wowee.

My wish for you

2008-01-28T03:30:00.000+08:00

~3.37am~

I hope days come easy and moments pass slow and each road leads you where you want to go.

If you faced with choice and you have to choose, i hope you choose the one that means the most to you and if one door opens to another door closed, i hoped you keep on walking till you find the window.

If its cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile.

More than anything, My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it. To your dreams stay big and your worries stay small.

You never need to carry more than you can hold. While you're out there getting where you're getting to, i hope you know somebody that loves you and wants the same things too.

I hope you never look back but you never forget all the ones who love you. In the place you left, i hope you always forgive and you never regret and you help somebody every chance you get. Oh you find God's grace in every mistake and you always give more then what you take.

Yeah, this is, my wish for you dear.

i love you, always & always (':

Annoying brat

2008-01-25T05:31:00.001+08:00

~4.30am~

Currently at the beach with few of P.C.A members. Been ages since we all gather like this. Man i miss our panat way of joking but i guess those kind of jokes are no more ey? Everyone changed. Yes, i've got to admit it myself. I've changed too (:

I used trust others. Tend to smile when other mock me. Not that hot temper. Aaah im not that person anymore, ney? when so many things happend to you, believe me you'll be just like Dark Vader except that you dont have the saber & all. Hee.
Me & my imagination *hits myself*

Sometimes i wondered to myself, why does i have to fall for such a trap? I had already been there many times before but still i fell. Maybe i'm not quite mature enough, that is why i fell for such a lousy trap, Yes? No? Hahaha.

Annoying, am i? Thats the only thing that hasn't change despite all the things that i've got to carry on my shoulder. An annoying little 19 years old immature person. 19 years old yet im act like those of 16 years old brat. Oh well, i'm just proud being me. Apperciate it much. God's gift (:

Ayt. I'll stop here people. Its extremly late already. Got to go home though everyone's not fucking worried about this brat anymore but wth i've still got to home. I just need my pilo T_T

I envy those Happy people out there (':

Massacare on the month of 22nd

2008-01-21T23:59:00.001+08:00

This shout out goes to me & Zakiyah Era Elleys, Teman Sepanatan.

HAPPY 3 YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP (':

22nd of January 06. The start of our journey. Its been a panat ride. You being the vice as well as my closes frnd during the 2 years fairytale (': ah memories of better days still lurking.. Sigh..

Why im not adding one more year, so that it will equal to 3 years, you asked? Hee, it's because during 22nd january year 07 the journey just ended there. We didnt talk much anymore. We did talk but not as mesra as it used to be (': why again, you asked? Its for me & the rest of P.C.A to keep only (':

I wonder if you still remember this faithful day of ours, Zakiyah? Hee. Maybe i'm the only who cried when it comes to 22nd each month ey? Not to mention another ending added to this particular month as well (':

Aaah, i'm crying as i'm typing this, yet.. again (': so much for 22nd, yes?

~ZakiyahEraElleys~ ~EllaNabila~
Two person who promised me, happines. Yet, they broke it. Two person who carved their name on my walls. Yet, they erased it. Two person who built briged for me to cross. Yet, they destroyed it.. Sigh..

I'm still gratefull though to this one person who never fail to make smile. Yes dear, you. Tweey (': i love you but nevertheless its still doesn't change the fact that on 22nd of each month, it is when my Fairytale gone bad.

('x

I who have nothing

2008-01-21T11:38:00.000+08:00

I who have nothing
Adore you and want you so. I'm just no one with nothing to give you but oh i love you.

You, you who give him your sparkling bright love like those of diamonds but believe me, Autumn, when i say that he can give you the world. Sometimes that your the one who give him the world. But he'll never love you the way that i love you.

He can take you any place you want. To fancy shops & resturants but i can only watch you with my nose pressed up againts the window pane.

I who have nothing, I who have no one.

Must watch you go dancing by wrapped in the arms of somebody else.

When darling it is i who love you.

Dramatic,am i? Haha. Alright. Im out. I wanna eat something. Gaah im hungyyy *poke tweey*

3 in the morning (':

2008-01-21T04:18:00.000+08:00

This WinterAutumn's hearts should be our secret,
but now im hiding in this heart alone.
Cant help but read our names on the wall and wash them on the stone.

I trusted you in every way but not enough to make you stay.
Just turn around Autumn, because i've lost my ground.

Come & rescue me.
I'm burning, can you see? x')
Only you can set me free.

We lied when we were dreaming.
Our crying was just fake.
Hope you can deny it.
Here & today.

My S.O.S radio is the only chance to let you know what i fear.
Can you hear?

The walls are coming closer.
My sense are are fading away.
I'm hunted by your shadow.
I wanted to reach & feel your face but your not here.

Are you here?.. sigh..

Don't mind me readers. I'm in that depression mode again x') Hee. Ayt im out. Its 3 in the morning already. Sweet dream ppl. Goodnight xD oh &

i love you, always, Bumble Bee x') Happy 3 months annie.

With you

2008-01-19T03:33:00.000+08:00

I woke up in a dream today.
To cold and the static.
And i put my cold feet on the floor.
Forgot all about the ending.
Remembering that i'm pretending to be where im not anymore.
A little taste of hipocrisy and i'm left in the wake of mistake.
Slow to react
Even tho your so close to me but still your so distant.
And i cant bring you back.

Its true
The way i feel
Was promised by your face.
The sound of your voice.
Painted on my memories.
Even if your not with me.

Im with you

I hit you & you hit me back.
We fall to the floor.
The rest of the day stand still.
Fine line between this & that.
But when things went wrong.
I pretend the past isn't real.
Im trapped in this memory.

NO, i wont let you control my fate,
While im holding the world on my conscience.
NO, i wont just sit here & wait,
While you wear your options.
Your making a fool out of me.
NO, you didnt dare to say that you dont care.
And solemnly swear doesnt follow me there.
NO, it aint lke me to beg on my knees.

Oh, please, baby, please, thats not how im doing things.
NO, i'm not upset.
NO, i'm not angry.
I know love is love,
but Love, sometimes, it pains me.
With or without you.
I always be with you.
You'll never forget me.
Because
i'm keeping you here with me.
NO, i won't let you take me to the end of the rope,
While you burn & torture my soul.
NO, i'm not you puppet.
And no, no, no, i wont let you go.

No, matter how far we have come.
I cant wait to see tomorrow with you.

i love you, always jubur *hugs*

Winter without Autumn

2008-01-18T19:12:00.000+08:00

My inside all turned to ash, so slow.
And blew away as i collapsed, so cold.
A black wind took them away from sigh.
And the darkness over day, that night.

And the clouds above move closer.
Looking so dissatisfied but the heartless wind keep on blowing.
I used to be my own protection, but not now.
Cause my path has lost direction.
Somehow, a black wind took you away from sight
And now the darkness over day, that night.

So now you're gone and i was wrong.
I never knew what it's like to be alone

My mind has lost direction somehow, on WinterAutumn's ending

i love you, always

In pieces

2008-01-18T16:31:00.001+08:00

Your telling me to go
but your hands beg me to stay

Your lips say that you love
Your eyes say that you hate

This truth in you lies
Doubt in your faith
What you've built laid into waste

All i've got is only what u didnt take

so i, i will nt be the one
Be the one that leave in pieces

And you
You will be alone
Alone with your secrets
And regrets

Dont lie

You promised me the sky
Then tossed me like a stone

You wrap me in your arms
And chill me to the bone

Another random things that i wrote. Tehehe. Im bored wah. Tweew Tweew. What the heck is wrong with my Msn? Its not connecting T_T

Wednesday

2008-01-17T00:12:00.002+08:00

Before i get started, i wanna say 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ABG KHALID,KAKA NANI & SHARIF DULS. wohoo. May good bless you all & di murah kan rezeki. Amin x)

Ehem.. Ehem..
Today we wasn't able to do any ghost hunting activity because all of us been busy with all of our own work. Well not all of us,only few including me whose hands are free. I know we could just leave them n do the ghost hunt with just us but its just nt fair, they are doing their work while we steal all the fun frm them,see? No fair,yes?

So yeah, there's nothing much going on today. Watched the kingdom in the afternoon. Its a good well splendid movie. I'll review them at my other post later on. Didnt play ball today,everyone seems to be busy nowadays. Hmph. Went to cousin's house at Lambak to celebarate Kaka Nani,Abg Khalid & Sharif birthday at 7.00pm.

Went home at 11 & here i am,blogging randomly on my comfortable bed *yawn* I wanna make my blog so intresting for ppl to read but it always doesnt go on my way T_T

goodnight readers. Kapish. Tweety *drolls*

Today's whatever events, ladies n gentlemen

2008-01-16T00:55:00.000+08:00

Lets review today's events ;
(Note that,im only gonna review what is intersting for me. Do not expect me to write on whats going on each & every hours)

~Early morning~ Woke up at 6 today. I was awaken by the noise of my msn. Nurul pm me. She wanted me to come by over to her house because she needed me to accompany her while her parents are away. She's afraid of being left all alone. Haha. Appearently, my eyes were still half closed & i wanted to sleep some more. So yeah, i declined her offer. Sorry, Nurul, maybe next time & i argued with Autumn at that point of time as well. Hee.

~At 3pm~ Decided to bring Nurul to the Motor Sarwa Dunia at the Beribi to survey a car. There,me & Nurul went to look for my upcoming new car xD I was looking for a Black Gen. 2. Sadly,they only had blue,red,grey & purple gen 2 cars. The black ones will arrived in two or three days time. Hmph. I asked them to give me a call when the black one arrived. After that,we went on to eat at the near resturant there. Man, we were hungry like hell. Our tummy keeps on growling ): & Nurul, i thought only man eat like a beast. HAHAHA. Weirdo xp

~At 4pm~ Sent Nurul to Mentiri. She had a traditional dance practice at her friend's house,Nisha. She's a real cutey. Nt to mention beauty baby *drools* Nyahaha xp Went home at 4.30 & got scolded by dad for not telling him that i went out to Beribi T_T

~At 10 plus pm~ Had an arguement with Elle.. Again. I dont why but lately she's been shooting the machine gun at me. Huhu. I had done nothing wrong *sulks* jubo. Ehe. i love you

Well thats about it. Not much to read,yes? I'll blog about our ghost hunt activity next. That is, if we are all able tomorrow tho. If not, oh well, i'll blog about something else then (x

Goodnight people. Kapishh

2008-01-13T19:07:00.000+08:00

7.00pm

This people start to piss me off. Fuck You. Heh. Why do you guys have to come into my life anyway?

2008-01-13T11:26:00.000+08:00

11.30am:
Currently in a car with both Aim & Qawiy *yawn* im tired. I need my pilo nyahaha.

Random

2008-01-13T08:52:00.001+08:00

Goodmorning readers *yawn* today is the 13th. 9 more days till the New Heroes season 2 will be shown on TV! Yay! && it will mark the 1st month of the WinterAutumn's end x)

Speaking of which.. HAPPY 1 YEAR & A MONTH BESTFRIEND ANNIE TO BOTH JIM C LALAT & ME! wohoo! Still cant believe it. A year n a month already since the Yanee's era. I still remember that Jim used to likey likey me. She got jealous when she knew that im with Yanee. Haha. Weirdo xp

I'll stop here. Both Aim n Qawiy are waiting. Haha. Im late already. Nyahaha. Sorry Aim. Apa apa cana cana? Ngee. Haha.

p/s ; when will TWEEY come to me? T_T

Anything but ordinary

2008-01-12T11:01:00.001+08:00

Sometimes i get so weird. I even freak myself out. I laugh,i cried myself to sleep as if it's my lulaby. Sometimes i drive so fast just to release the frustration. I wanted to scream because it made me feel alive.

Is it enough to love? Is it enough to breath? Is it enough to die? Somebody rip my heart out & leave me to bleed. Somebody save my life i'd rather be anything but ordinary please (x

To walk within the lines would make my life so boring. I want to know that i had been to the extreme. So knock me off my feet. Come on now,give it to me anything to make me feel alive

Okay that was random. Haha. I wrote it with my heart as a guide. Consinder random,yes? Tehehe. Tell me what you think. Espcially you, yes you *ambl tweew*

i love you jubur xp

Memories..

2008-01-11T02:35:00.001+08:00

This is the txt msg that she had gave it to me during our 3 months annie..

It says..

3 Months and I Never Realised I've Stayed This Long. Syg, Lets Stay Together Always. I Dont Want To Be Apart From You, I Dont Want To Be Pulled Away From Your Life. Everything I Do, I Give My Heart and Soul. And I Know We Can Last Longer. Keep Me Baby (': Because Im Tired Of Crying. I Love You. Happy 3 Months Annie Syg. Mwa. *hugs* Sleeptight Pantat xD hehe.

During those 3 short months are always been so joyful for us both. Idk about her though but during those months i felt like im alive. She always made me smile with all her spoilt darling adorable attitude towards me (':

sigh.. can i have you back,cyg? (':

I wish i could just turn back time & undo everything that i had done wrong.. sigh..

Yes,call me emo. Call me jiwang. Call me your heart desire.. Dont mind me.. This is how depress i can get (':

i love you, always (':

Naked around you

2008-01-07T02:16:00.000+08:00

I wake up in the morning..
Tears raining down my faces..
the one that's gonna get me through another day..
Doesnt really matter how i feel inside..
This life is like a game sometimes,oh yes they do (x

Then you came around me the walls just dissapeared..
Nothing to sorround me..
Keeping me from my fears..

I'm unprotected..
See how i've opened up to you? You've made me trust you.

I've never felt like this before..
Its like im naked around you.
Does it show?
You see right through me & i cant hide.

I'm naked around you & it feels so right

Trying to remember why i was afraid..
To be myself..
And let the cover fall away..
Guess i never had someone like you to help me fit in my skin

I'm still not over you & you do know that,yes? (':

i love you, always

For you..

2008-01-06T01:48:00.001+08:00

Oh Autumn.

Now you're sleeping. Oh how i wish i can be there,right beside you. Watching you dream ur fantasy. Oh how i wish i can kiss that lips of urs but no,i cant do that because your nt mine to touch. your not mine to hold. your not mine to kiss that beautiful lips anymore. Oh how i wish you would be mine again but yet again i cant, you are with someone else. Someone that your happy with. Someone that has the approval of everyone in the families. Oh how i envy him (':

Its hard for me to let go of you. Its hard for me to get over you. All i can do is just to hold on & enjoy the journey. No need for me to hurry cause this heart will know when its finally.. Home (':

i love you, always.
p/s ; i need tweew ASAP xp

At the beach..

2008-01-05T01:42:00.003+08:00

Im darn bored & i cant sleep. Yup,the usual. Idk why i cant sleep during this time of hours. Hmm.. i wonder.. Its 1am btw. Anyway, earlier, around 6 pm, i went to the beach & do a lot of thinking there.

I saw groups of young couples around my age doing their stuff. No,no not that stuff. They were just hugging,kissing etc. That stuff. You know,the usual. So yeah, there this one couple that cought my eyes. The couples that were sitting on top of car's roof (x They were so sweet. Things that they did, Where the bf atil the gf n the gf always hitting the bf whenever she felt annoyed. I was smiling watching those two,it brings bck the memories (:

Watching them made my tears pouring down. Watching them made me realised how much i miss the WinterAutumn's moments. Oh how much i envy you couples ('x

Aaah bck to earth,after flashing bck all the moments i had with the Autumn. I decided to stop weaping n move along with life. Soon after that i went straight bck to home.

Arrived at home around 7 plus. Txted with Elle ('x ooh you better give tweey to me *drolls* ehe. Had my dinner at 8. Went to bed at 11 & here i am blogging on today's so called event *yawn* It looks like mars is calling. So people!! im heading out to mars. Goodnight readers.

Oh & here's something for my Autumn..

Just questions seem endless. It suddenly become clear. You come not to love me but to teach me how to love. Then you walked away without any idea how much i've learned,how much i missed our moments n how much it hurts.. i love you so much (':

2008-01-04T19:33:00.000+08:00

7.33pm.

i believe in you and you have to believe in yourself. i'll always be here for you along the way, thats a promise i want to keep. okay? (:

i believe too that you can make all of us proud. because, i'm already proud of you. you never stop trying. hee. ooh p/s - TWEEW!!! :D hehe. nanti bagi.

What will become of this winter? (':

2008-01-03T03:23:00.001+08:00

Its 3 in the morning. I just finished watching the whole Heroes season 1 episode. Damn it took me hours to finish them. I wonder if Peter's mother have the ability to read the future.. Hmm..

Anyway bck to the present, as i said earlier it took me hours for me to finish watching them. I couldnt sleep soon after that & now here i am laying on my bed,thinking about what's life ahead of me in the near future. Will i get enough 'O's for me to attend the form six center? Will i make my families proud? Wat if.. Wat if.. I couldnt get enough 'O's? Wat would i do? Wat will others think of me? Espcially to those who are close to me? Wat will become of me? .. Sigh.. I know, education isnt everything,there's way for us to gain a better life without it. You can just join the army, join the police,do business n stuff,yes? BUT nowadays, ppl here, doesnt judges us by our jobs. They look through our education. The better our education is,the better way how their eyes look through us.

You see,thats wat im afraid of. When that happend ppl would just look at me and say 'look at you,you are stupid,pathetic. Your sister are way more better than you' sigh.. Will someone be there for me when it happends? (': who knows..

Ayt,i'll stop here. Its nearly 4. I must make my self fall asleep or else i couldnt hear the end of it. Espcially from c Ella xp nyehehe.

Goodnight people or should i say goodmorning? Hmm.. Oh wat the heck. Sweet dreams. Kapissh *culik tweey* ehe.

Torn up letters 07

2008-01-01T09:10:00.001+08:00

& its the year 2008. Wow. Time does move fast. 2007.. Gaha i say this year was the worst of the year that i've been into. I mean seriously,for a moment there i thought i would be enjoying the year 07 despite me being a repeater in my school & received a humiliating treat from both teachers & families (: but it all came to an end when things got a lil bit crack then finally it broke. I dont want to mention it here, what its exactly means but hey you know it once u finished reading my previous post entry,yes? (x

So yeah,thats the time when i came not knowing wat is right or wrong anymore but i do learned something in the year 07 though.

This is what i learned ;

When you find someone you love,it doesnt matter whether you find is a friend or someone you share your life with. Just make sure you treasure them,take good care of them,be true to them,make good use of the love that they had given to you,because that love comes unseen..

You can only see it.. When its gone x')

Happy new year to you all & have a blast. Thank you.

i love you, end of december

2007-12-31T23:41:00.000+08:00

11.42 Malam.

I'm blogging here (: I hope you don't mind.
Less than 20 minute from now, its a new year.
Its the first. you know what date that is (:
Sigh. I love you, and i'm sorry i can't make you happy up until the time that you wanted.
Yeah, that time. Marriage? neh. Just that particular time.

We've been the best this year and I admit I've done alot of wrong doings.
I'm sorry I can't change.. I love you ('x
Now the story of us is closing but it'll remain in our hearts forever, right?
17 minutes left. I don't know what to say.
Its hard to let go.. I know ('x because you always gave me chances.
Chances that I never learned to appreciate so much.
I'm sorry oh? I want to see you smiling and happy again.
Just once.. I can't stand looking at you that way. It hurts.

I LOVE YOU HAFIZ ('x We'll cherish our memories of 2007 together.

*hugs* (:

Random?

2007-12-31T19:42:00.000+08:00

Lets just leave that way,shall we? (x

9am Forever. Hahaha.

2007-12-31T09:43:00.001+08:00

Its 9am. I just woke up from my sleep *yawn* its kinda silent outside,suppose to be by now,i hear people screaming,laughing & stuff. Hmm wonder what happend. Oh well i'll check outside later. For now i wanna lay down on my bed a lil bit longer x) wat? i know i know. i should just get up frm n have a shower. i just need a lil bit of time for this 19 yr old body to rest on this comfortable bed of mine. Oh not to forget Pilo xD haha. Bhbh lay down ku dulu.

I wonder what she up to ey? x)

2007-12-30T07:23:00.000+08:00

The best memory. I'm locking you and our memories together. I love you, tc. mwa.

Here without her

2007-12-30T03:29:00.001+08:00

Its 3am.
Again.. I cought myself thinking of the moments spent with you. Im lil lonely but being far from you gives me a beatiful chances to realize how much you mean to me & how much i miss your company. All those moments that we created will always i cherish,here in this heart of mine. I'll lock it & throws away the key (':

i love you, always..

2007-12-29T23:55:00.000+08:00

Its 23:37pm.

The memories we had together was a moment to cherish. You were the best damn thing in my life and now i have to go. I love you, always. Hee. Remember how we first met? That was back in April i guess. Its December sudah, batah sudah oh? x)

We made One Zero Eight our day, the day i thought i want to make you happy. It brought us up to a 4months relationship. And im thankful for the great memories you gave me.

Dreams are left to be dreamt about. I love you, always. -out. x') - elle was here

Sunset..

2007-12-29T01:57:00.001+08:00

28th December.. I cant sleep. Missing her x') things are not wat it used to be anymore. Hee. I already lost my sense of wat is right & wat is wrong.. Am i losing my way? Sigh..

Currently,im listening Almost easy by Avenged Sevenfold & i like the part where he said that he's losing the fight but he is trying to hold on but the girl that he's in love with is fading away, ring a bell? x')

Holding your hands at the beach while watching the sunset together sigh.. I guess this dream of mine is just another dream afterall x')

i love you,Ella

Last day for the cuzey x)

2007-12-29T01:04:00.000+08:00

Today was the last day for panat cousin to enjoying panat-ing with the rest of us cause tomorrow is his marriage ceramony x)

Us,the P.C.A ur cousin will totally miss your jokes,your panat way of showing us ur panat attitude toward us. For that we THANK YOU we might not show it to you but hey we feel like we just lost a great panat mentor & it made tears pouring down on our face x')

Tonight,just few hours ago you made us enjoy ourselves. Laugh at ur jokes. Heck,you made us crazy dude! Aha. Its been ages since we were panat-ing ourselves,yes? Once again.. Thank you,cousin.

May you have a succesful life towards ur step as a husband

WinterAutumn108..

2007-12-26T01:02:00.000+08:00

12.30am & its 26th of December. 5 more days till the end of my December.. sigh.. I have got to admit it. i miss her (':

22nd December marks the end of our journey together. 4 months being together.. Tho it just short but during those time we made plenty of joyful memories together. You change my life & for that i thank you.. i'll cherish all of our WinterAutumn's moments.. Thank you.. i love you, always. Love and Hugs..

Here's a quote for my Autumn..

'someday i'll be siting in a rokin chair remembering the past when i was still young..

& when my grandchildren come & asked for a story..

i'll begin with..

Once upon a time..

There was you in my life (':

Lame,yes?

2007-11-24T23:48:00.000+08:00

Today was yet another tiring day. Woke up early at 6. Luckily cyg texted me or else i wouldn't attend the ball game. Thank You cyg <3 i love you. Had my breakfast after a couple of sits up. Haha. Truth to be told,its not even worth it, i had my breakfast after i do sits up. so yeah. heee. Arrived at school around 8+ went to the court & by the time i got there the 1st game of the day had already finished. Next will ours. So yeah,we registered our name. Get on the court & started the game. && we were not quite ready yet. Its like we were fighting without both our sword & sheild on -_-

During the 1st half of the game,the opposite team outscored us. They control the tempo of the game. Their defense is tight. Its hard for us to penetrated through their defense. All of our shots doesn't end its journey. They've stopped every move we made. Its like all the lights are all red.

As all hopes are lost. As the game about come to an end. One man carried us behind his back. His shots started to make the swish sound. His offense made the oppsite team begging for mercy. Bla bla bla we won the game. We remind undefeated & with that we just set a new record in SMB's Baktbll Club History. Cool ey? x) Will somedays other team will break this record of ours that we just set? who knows.

I'll take my leave here. Kapishhh *Tumbuk tweety xp*

A Tiring Event

2007-11-21T21:03:00.000+08:00

Today was Tiring. Got Basketball Tournament match earlier this morning. We won our 1st round match. This is the 1st time since the last 2 years incident me & the rest of the veterans play ball at the SMB's BASKETBALL COURT. Yes,the incident that all of the club members won't forgot. CURSED YOU FUCKING BASTARD. ok,bck to today's event. As i said earlier,we won our 1st round match. We didn't play like how we used to be though. We nearly got beaten by the hands of Rookies. Yes a rookie. I repeat.. WE WERE NEARLY GOT BEATEN BY A ROOKIE's TEAM!! Haha but nevertheless we still managed to beat them. 2nd round of the tournament will start 2 days from now,which is on saturday. xD Oh yeah,through the midways of the 2nd half of the game i got booed by the crowd for not hitting the 3 point jumper. Hey if you're in the game situation as i am i doubt you wouldn't make the swish sound like those of the NBA players. Heeee. errr..It was a successful 1st day event for the new club's commitee members. Cheers for them. The event finished at 12 sharp. After running up & down the court bla bla bla. We went our seperate ways. I went home by foot. God!! it was hot. I got sunburn all over my cte face xp I am cute right cyg? haha. I Love You. I'll stop here. I'll be blogging again soon. See you Homie.

HAPPY WEDD ANNIE TO ME & CYG. Mwahugs.

end .

2007-11-17T16:10:00.001+08:00

it is 4.10pm, and hafiz is nowhere to be seen. ;p
gaha, well will be updated soon (:

i love youuu

2007-11-13T15:20:00.000+08:00

one zero eight, love.

exams

2007-11-05T14:24:00.000+08:00

you got to be kidding me. hahaha. ;p
ah the boyfriend is having exams currently.
just leave a tag (:

will be updated soon.! :D

the GF is tired

2007-09-12T21:52:00.000+08:00

9.52pm
i was here Syg (:
iloveyou

Testing.. testing

2007-09-12T18:16:00.000+08:00

HELLO.

Few changes were made by my cyg here. Eeeeeee i'll blog again later. BLANK saya bah

i love you Hafiz. - Elle

2007-09-11T18:24:00.000+08:00

Your Song

You say that Gainesville's got no soul
Well that sounds like a good excuse for coming home
and this Tallahassee skyline keeps singing out a song
Just know it's your song they've been singing.
So stay
So stay
Stay and watch the stars come out and then the sun as they all fade away
I'll sing you every song I know if it will make you want to stay
And then i'll say
That I missed you

And these words
They'll convince you, to stay
I poured through every song I wrote
Every line that I've cried every note that was split with this pen
And every line in every song, they all seemed to come out wrong,
Untill your song

So lets sing it all night long
And this Tallahassee skyline hasnt changed
While the view from every rooftop says to stay
So stay

Stay and watch the stars come out and then the sun as they all fade away
Ill sing you every song I know convince you to stay
And I could call you baby doll all the time
And youd whisper in my ears youd say i missed you boy

Now sing it over again, and over again, and over again,
And I could call you baby doll all the time
and youd whisper in my ears, youd say i missed you boy
Now sing it over again and over again, and over again

Take This To Heart

Cause I'm a mess and you know that I can't help it
Trihone never seemed this long before
Killing time just a little bit faster
And I swear we'll make it

But I can't tell you what I don't know
(Be mine tonight, be mine tonight)
The simple things, they make my heart go
(Be mine tonight, be mine tonight)
But I can't tell you what I don't know
You'll have to wait
You'll have to wait

Stay strong
And only know that it'll be here while I am gone
Because I'm coming home
Coming home tonight
Let's get this right
I said I'm coming home
Coming home tonight

You sounded hurt and you know that I believe you
Searching every little thing to find a way
To tell your heart just to wait a little longer
I swear we'll make it

But I can't tell you what I don't know
(Be mine tonight, be mine tonight)
[Take This To Heart Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com]
The simple things, they make my heart go
(Be mine tonight, be mine tonight)
But I can't tell you what I don't know
You'll have to wait
You'll have to wait

Stay strong
And only know that it'll be here while I am gone
Because I'm coming home
Coming home tonight
Let's get this right
I said I'm coming home
Coming home tonight

One more night
And we'll go spinning around the room
It starts with our hearts on fire
Cause every song is ours tonight
And if you help me sing
Change the whole world
That it's greatest thing that happened to me
I finally found a good reason to come home

Stay strong
And only know that it'll be here while I am gone
Because I'm coming home
Coming home tonight
Let's get this right
I said I'm coming home
Coming home tonight

ElleRockStar Was Here

2007-09-11T18:17:00.000+08:00

6.18pm. Edited Blog.
Heeeeeee.
Aaa, So This Is His First Timer, Yes?

Keep It Updated :D

I LOVE YOU, always. (:

First timer

2007-09-08T23:19:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. so THIS how blogger looks like ey? Errrr... um.. Hello. Hee..